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I am trying to figure out why I want videos in my chat. Just link it. It is weird that media size if limited by carrier, not mms itself. So that is a pain, where the range (again depending on carrier) is say 3 megabytes to 500KB. Artificial limitations and inconsistency is annoying.
In any case I have Apple and Android, I have family with a mix of both as well, and I do not get all the whining. Messages work, group chats work, images work. so Meh. No big deal. Even with family in Africa, the UK, and the US.
Sometimes I want to send a private video which isn't publicly available, so there's no link to send. E.g. a video of a relative's performance.
Since they are auto backed up to my server, or icloud, or google drive, or whatever the person is using, we just link to there. Not public of course. I get that you save a step of course.