this post was submitted on 22 Nov 2023
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As a former polyamoric person, here's how I (still) think of it: You can't control your feelings (they are merely physical reactions to situations) but you can control how you deal with them. Or how you act on them.
So in a sense, in my opinion, you're both correct.
And that right there is the kind of attitude that gets you into polyamoric situations.