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How does attraction feel like to you, mentally, physically and emotionally? (literature.cafe)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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It was sometime in early 2022 that I found myself reading a few romance novels. I remember being mildly annoyed about how most of the books had instant chemistry/attraction as part of the plot. Then I suddenly found myself wondering, how do I feel if and when I feel attraction? I think I have probably never felt instant attraction. When I look at a good looking man/woman I just feel an appreciation for their beauty, like how I would feel looking at a beautiful painting or photograph. At most all I feel is a wish is to look at them a few times more than is appropriate. I don’t remember how it feels like to feel attraction towards someone I have feelings for. The last time I felt strong feelings for someone was many years ago and I can’t recall my feelings now. I am very curious to know how other people feel when they experience attraction towards someone. How does it feel physically, and what thoughts and/or feelings do you experience? Also, do you consider chemistry and attraction to be the same or different? How?

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[+] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well, you shouldn’t close yourself off just because you’re afraid. But don’t force yourself into trying to love either, just because you think you ‘need’ to be in a relationship. That sort of thing rarely goes well.

If you’re having trouble ‘getting back out there’, it’s probably easiest to develop hobbies, and meet people that way. Then you have a better chance of finding someone walking a similar path to you, which at the very least means you get a good friend out of the deal.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The last time I had feelings for someone... it was in 2012 and I realised it after having worked together for more than 2.5 years. However it was one sided and it hurt. That much I remember. However, I didn’t feel physical attraction. I remember wishing for a deeper emotional and intellectual connection. To be honest, since then I think I do feel a little scared of getting emotionally attached to anyone because it had hurt a lot.