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How does attraction feel like to you, mentally, physically and emotionally? (literature.cafe)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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It was sometime in early 2022 that I found myself reading a few romance novels. I remember being mildly annoyed about how most of the books had instant chemistry/attraction as part of the plot. Then I suddenly found myself wondering, how do I feel if and when I feel attraction? I think I have probably never felt instant attraction. When I look at a good looking man/woman I just feel an appreciation for their beauty, like how I would feel looking at a beautiful painting or photograph. At most all I feel is a wish is to look at them a few times more than is appropriate. I don’t remember how it feels like to feel attraction towards someone I have feelings for. The last time I felt strong feelings for someone was many years ago and I can’t recall my feelings now. I am very curious to know how other people feel when they experience attraction towards someone. How does it feel physically, and what thoughts and/or feelings do you experience? Also, do you consider chemistry and attraction to be the same or different? How?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I think chemistry and attraction are different. I'd say how attraction feels depends on how strong you feel it, but at its basic initial level you think they look good and would like to spend time alone with them to get to know them.

Chemistry I think is much deeper and has more layers. If you had chemistry in every way It implies that on a personality level you two see eye to eye on most major opinions, such as politically, hobbies, types of film genres or video games, you both like/dislike casual drinking or smoking weed, you both prefer dogs to cats, etc.

Basically chemistry, to me, is how smooth it is transitioning from living by yourself to with that person, how much of your everyday life decisions and your personality traits/humor naturally sync up.