this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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TBF…
On average women do more things like give up careers for child rearing, still do tons of daily drudgery like family organizing, housework, Dr. appointments or school activities, cooking, etc. that all goes unrecognized. Dudes go out and do some yard work on a weekend and then hit the couch like they moved the world and should be waited upon for it. I’m a dad and keep my damn mouth shut about my work because my other half has to deal with all the shit when I’m gone at work.
So unless you’re directly acknowledging, lavishing praise and love on all the thankless stuff your wife is doing, you don’t have a leg to stand on.
E: huh. Didn’t know this was a red pill /c. Guess men are justified in complaining while we ignore women facing the same problem.
Well, that seems unhealthy as hell as well. This is the whole stoic to a fault bullshit for both partners now. I'd say vent to your partner and let your partner vent to you about your shitty days. Why live your life together but not be able to share your burdens? Just my two cents though.
Why is working put forward as some sort of prize?
Because when you leave work, you generally don't have to keep doing it when you get home. Being a stay at home parent tends to be from eyes open to eyes closed kind of gig. There's a lot of planning that goes into every day, and some of it needs to be planned ahead of time. Things like dinners, for example. Or the doctors appointments someone else mentioned. Or that laundry needs to get done, dishes out away, shit I still need to go shopping for food for the next week, and while I'm out I need to fill this prescription, and after that I need to make sure I'm on time to pick the kids up from school. And once we all get home I need to make sure that they do any assigned homework or practice their instrument. And FUCK I FORGOT TO PULL MEAT OUT OF THE FREEZER.
Being the stay at home parent is a LOT of work... And it never ends. Parents don't get weekends off or union mandated lunch breaks.
And when the other half gets home from work, a lot of times the expectation is that they won't have to do much at home.
A lot of times going to work means you get to focus on something else and don't have to make all the decisions. The mental load gets shifted. You're getting told what to do rather than having to plan it all out. It's not always the case, but I'd argue that the majority of times it is.
And that's one of the things that can be difficult about being a parent and in a relationship. Making sure you're doing what you can to help lighten the load on your other half. And hell .. I'd argue that should be the case regardless of your parental status. Always be trying to make life easier for each other. Don't ever let it be one way.
Maybe pre 2000s. NOwadays, man are very much involved in every aspect of the family if given the chance. I get most men still don't care but it's changing!
This might be a rare scenario. Both me and my wife work long hours. I am more in charge of the family, kids, chores, and fixing our house. She took everything for granted until one day I stopped doing chores that i have been nagging her for years to do so i can focus on issues surrounding the house(we own a large century old house) I am also the one on top of our kids health, diet, and education. Oh, I cook for the family. Sometimes I told her I am the MoM and the Dad and she's the friend. Friend can't raise friends.
Every time I confront the responsibility among us and that she should Mom up, my mom, her mom, and my wife starts accusing me for being difficult.
I had home cooked food on the table every night and I got no recognition from the 3 women in my life. When she made something once in a bluemoon, she got all the praise. My mom dare to gell me I gotta start cooking more for the family. Lmao. I can never win.