this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy
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From your example you could just be introverted or just not interested in what people around you are interested in.
Something important to answer is, why are they the "things you should be doing"? If it's because people tell you to, and you want to be included but you don't have any interest in the activities, that's normal, don't feel like you need to be more social than you want to be. If they're things you want to do, but you can't find the energy or focus to do them, it could be ADHD, depression, or something else.
I'd say schedule a physical with your doctor, have them check blood work and see if you're getting the right nutrients, and if that all looks relatively fine, talk to a therapist. All of that is good to do regardless.
It could also be technology training your brain to have a short attention span. Go do things that interest you that don't involve screens. Could be as simple as going on more walks, learning a new skill, anything that doesn't involve consuming entertainment (Lemmy counts as entertainment).
Excercise has been helpful for clearing up my head. When I get distracted during work, I would do some jumping squats or push ups and my head will be back in the game. This is only possible because I work from home. It's not always an option when I'm outside.
I try not to use my phone when I'm with people. There has been a couple of instances where I got sucked into the phone and my spatial awareness just stopped working.
Some group settings just aren't for me, the topics they bring up or the way the conversation flows may be boring - so I just stop listening actively and think about something else.
Like you mentioned I should really see a Doctor and a Therapist just in case.
I believe that the lack of quality sleep is also affecting me. I only get less than 6 hours of sleep most days.
If this is something that you consider to be a big of enough issue, look into the Forest app. It’s the only thing that works for me and my ADHD.
It’s an app that plants a digital tree. And if you use your phone during that time, the tree will die. And for each amount of time that you concentrate, you get a certain amount of coins that allow you to purchase more species of trees, so your forest becomes more “decorative” over time. Some of the trees aren’t real, so it makes it fun to see the designs they come up with. And there are seasonal ones to make it fun.
The motivation to care is because after you plant a certain amount of digital trees, an environmental group will plant a tree for you in real life. This has been surprisingly effective for me when needing to focus on a task at work for extended periods of time.
https://www.forestapp.cc/
Thanks I will check it out.