Asklemmy

43858 readers

1598 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

171

Advice on helping a loved one through alcoholism? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

78 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My fiance has been struggling a lot lately with this and it's taking a toll on me. I'm doing all I can and all I know how to do but it's getting really hard and exhausting to deal with the constant cycle of abuse and then apology and then abuse and then apology over and over and over again for months. Usually day by day. I have convinced her to go to a counselor for help and she has an appointment set and seemed willing but she has kept up the cycle of drinking and I'm afraid she'll just ignore it or pretend to go. If anyone has experience helping a loved one through overcome this I would appreciate the help. She is an absolutely wonderful person when she is sober and I love her with all my heart but I'm not sure what else I can do and I don't want the rest of my life to consist of this.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In general, they don't... especially not at that age (25+). The ones you mentioned are rare cases, maybe like 5% of the population (dropig numbers, haven't seen any research papers on the subject)... at least from what I've seen so far in life.

You're probably young and optimistic, I get that, I was as well. But, when you see how things around you develop (in what direction), you start to realize that people have certain character traits that makes them who they are, regardless if they are good or bad. It's just who they are 🤷. Sure, they do change, but then they relapse and then there is that vicious circle of up and down, which I hate to be honest.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I'm not that young and optimistic tbh, it sounds like you've just been dealt a tough hand in life and hope you can get through it one day. Truly.