this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2023
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Asklemmy

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[โ€“] [email protected] 213 points 1 year ago (4 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago

The trick is to jump around like a choose your own adventure.

[โ€“] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Just popped in to find and upvote.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When I was in elementary school I actually tried to just read the bible. I didn't get very far through Genesis before I gave up.

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

You didn't even make it to the part where a man of god uses nature magic to summon bears to kill 42 children, or where a guy is mad that a father gives him the wrong daughter as property that he combines genocide with animal abuse!

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

For me, nothing tops the guy whose neighbors want to rape the angel that came to visit him, so he offers the crowd his daughters to rape instead.

[โ€“] [email protected] -3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

That first bit is part of the Apocrypha. It's not in the official bible.

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's from Second Kings 2:23-25, which is part of the Torah and the official 66 books of the bible. Though some (most) translations say that the curse is in the name of the lord/god.

From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. โ€œGet out of here, baldy!โ€ they said. โ€œGet out of here, baldy!โ€ He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. And he went on to Mount Carmel and from there returned to Samaria.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

some boys

two bears

mauled forty-two of them

Just how many boys in totality are we talking about here? And did the bears have to stop and take a break?

And he went on to Mount Carmel and...

"And then he went about his day, completely disregarding the two exhausted bears and the 42 mauled boys that were part of a sizable mob that he casually called a curse down upon'

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks for the specifics.