this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2023
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I'd describe it that way with my ADHD. My subconscious is literally overriding my conscious in real-time. I'll be in deep decision paralysis while the thoughts of the consequences of not doing the thing at all become too stressful, then I'll hyperfocus and cram as much work as humanly possible in a very unhealthy period of time. The guilt also tends to build up, but I just can't get started without something tangible to scare me up. I called it anxiety-based productivity before knowing what it was lol. It's a really vicious loop too, cause I got away with it too often as I grew up (the ADHD-PI/somewhat gifted combo that often falls through the cracks).