this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2023
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Parenting

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Assuming they're old enough to have a phone, obviously.

I have to send my daughter reminders to do things all the time because she's extremely forgetful. She's not annoyed by that, she's asked me to do it. And whenever I send her one, I get a read receipt and no reply. And I've told her a bunch of times that it's rude to not reply to texts like that, but she keeps doing it.

It's driving me crazy. She's a good kid, but why doesn't she return texts?!

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I am that kid.

I also discovered in the past year that I had ADHD and was on the autistic spectrum (although pretty good at masking social traits).

You saying that she's extremely forgetful definitely makes me think of ADHD symptoms (keep in mind that ADHD in women is often pretty different than the stereotype). From my experience online, it also seems extremely common for people with such neurodivergences to struggle with answering messages (or initiating phone calls).

Personally I see the message, but the way motivation works in ADHD makes the effort of answering feel much bigger than it really is, so I just tell myself that I'll answer later today or tomorrow. Fast forward 2 weeks later, now every time I see the unanswered message I get a small spike of anxiety but now I'm too ashamed to answer as if nothing happened.

Could be interesting to see if she can relate to that feeling, as it could point to some neurodivergences. Might be something else entirely tho.