this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
203 points (96.8% liked)
Asklemmy
43782 readers
910 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
All that follows is simply an opinion. Take everything with a grain of salt. Feel free to discuss.
Human are social creatures and relationships is a basic human need. Where I am from, the government enforced a curfew and stopped people from having relationships with their loved one. Stories of people dying alone or women giving birth alone.
When basic needs aren't met, we revert to survival instincts and try to meet these needs. To me, that explains why people that were seemingly caring turned out to be dicks when their needs weren't met.
Shitty people were going to be shitty anyways.
For people that need less social interactions, it feels like it's fucking bonkers how people were getting desperate for social interactions and throwing caution to the wind. It felt like they were crazy.
Just like an hungry man in front of a plentiful buffet, these people tasted social interactions and told themselves never again!
It was a short time in history where less social people were better off than the rest. After covid brought a lot of tension because social persons clawed back at what was acquired by the less social people.
And to me, that explains a lot of what we saw and see right now.
And again, shitty people are gonna be shitty people regardless of the situation, so that observation doesn't apply to them.
My needs have never been met. Never. Yet I have managed to not be a dick for decades.
I assure you that to someone else, you've been a dick without you knowing.
We judge ourselves by our intentions and the others by their actions. So it's easy to point at everyone around being a dick without realising that in that moment, that person isn't necessarily thinking that they are a dick.
And again, some people are really shitty people regardless of the situation. So it doesn't apply to them.
I'm not taking about accidental or unconscious dickery. I'm talking about deliberately being an ass because you feel you have a right to it.
Do you think that the context matters then? Covid or not, these people are gonna be ass.
If you think that people were fundamentally bad and hiding behind a facade until covid, then I am not sure what there is to discuss.
I am not sure what you are trying to convey here.
Yes. I think people were fundamentally selfish and self-centered, and the minute they felt inconvenienced, they took it as an excuse to be assholes.
Before Covid, they didn't feel the same pressure, so used kindness as social grease to benefit themselves. Covid proved that the average person's kindness is less a character trait than a cost/benefit analysis.
I agree with Analogy's take on this. I don't think it's based on 'needs'. Selfish people are, and have always been selfish regardless of the situation. Stress does exacerbate it of course. And it's unfortunately the case that we live in a world that doesn't reward kindness. But despite this there are a lot of people that are kind because they want to be, because it's rewarding for it's own sake.
Iβm absolutely on Analogyβs side, as well.
I think where we disagree is that people were merely inconvenienced. Social relationships are a basic human need and there is a lot of ongoing research on the effects of social isolation caused by Covid.
And with that said, I don't think I can change your mind on the covid situation.
I hope that you can find people that can and will meet your needs.