this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
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Marxist-Leninist politics is like 40% of who I am. I started studying it when I was a preteen, and it's influenced my personality greatly ever since.
::: spoiler toolongpost
You will not see my eyes light up about anything quite like when I'm divulging some arcane secret regarding Trotskyists' probable collaboration with Japanese Imperialists and Rudolf Hess in attempting to dissolve the Soviet Union, or such a smile on my face while explaining that at one point, the CPC was almost 9/10 ethnically Korean.
This leaves me in a weird position. I have other interests, other hobbies. But I like reading, I like learning about this stuff. I devote a lot of time to it, and I love to talk about it. Few and far between do I encounter another Amerikan as interested merely in politics as I am, let alone one who's not a CIA-agent-in-training, genuine fascist, or confrontational, perpetually-offended liberal with whom constructive discussion is impossible.
I have dated open-minded people before, and they have all taken a fleeting interest in what I know or have read about. But it tires them. They typically didn't like seeing me "obsess" over breaking international news. They'd ask to talk about something else, anything else, please.
I also am so, so very tired of hearing "I just don't think I know enough to talk to you about this". I don't enjoy feeling like I'm in some sort of position of intellectual power over my partner, and I always tried to approach these conversations as conversations and not, say, lectures, but when the conversation is over before it even starts...
I don't want to feel the need to radicalize my partner, I think. That all being said, if I wind up falling in love with someone who is not already a communist, then so be it. They will likely be ready and willing to talk with me about it, though. It's a big part of who I am.