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The past vs the future
(lemmygrad.ml)
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this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2023
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There are also videos of people randomly driving across rural America and the conditions people live under are eye-opening. Crumbling roads, crumbling houses, crumbling businesses, and everything's miles away with a sole Dollar General as the town's grocer.
I'm from the middle of nowhere, Amerika. It's so much worse than many people know.
tldr it sucks but I mean the nature's cool
The area I lived in is so backwoods it doesn't have a true name, it borders a town and a village (yes, a village). They're both about 20 minute drives in opposite directions.
All along the highway from nowhere to somewhere, you'll find abandoned gas stations and grocery stores overtaken by local foliage and critters of the dark. Cows every now and then with barbed wire fences cordoning off hundreds and hundreds of acres of land, usually owned by some disgustingly rich drunk old guy no one's seen in years.
In each town, everyone knows everyone. It was hard to stay anonymous even countywide -- many, many times my last name indicated to others that they knew my family. Due to living in a borderland, I was given an option of two different high schools I could attend, in either direction. They're both horrific, though I will say the one I attended had cool teachers. My graduating class had ~20 students in it, that being the entire senior class of my high school.
It is a very different feeling to living in a city. I did not have neighbors less than a mile away. 90% of the roads I drove were not paved. I spent my childhood in extreme isolation. I used the internet to escape it, the very, very slow internet. It took me a month to download World of Warcraft, and I played the shit out of it, 500 ping or otherwise (I considered 200 was stable!!).
We had DSL until maybe 2013. I grew up with a box computer, box TV, VHSs, all that old shit. Regular blackouts. School closed regularly because winter was utterly deadly -- who is going to plow a dirt road? Summer was just as deadly for different reasons.
We had a different relationship with guns. Gunshots were something you heard regularly, wherever you were, because folk were out hunting. It was normal. I remember, even, one time a classmate in 3rd grade brought (with his father) a deer he killed on the back of a pickup, and when he arrived he was holding his hunting rifle. This alarmed absolutely no one, including myself.
We had prayer circles at school every Sunday. We'd gather around the flag and pray for the soldiers and shit. Pledge of allegiance every day, of course.
Area was 99% white, and SOMEHOW the fuckers managed to get the black folk situated in the only part of that shithole that could be reasonably called a "ghetto". How the fuck.
I miss being able to fuck off into the woods and know that I was alone with nature. Nobody could mess with me because there was nobody. Nobody but the trees, squirrels, spiders and deer.
Every other person has at least tried meth. I haven't, but I've had the opportunity on multiple occasions. I've seen what that shit does to houses when people mix incorrectly. I'm good, I'll stick with green. Cannabis can't annihilate you quite so dramatically.
There were homeless folk. Everybody knew them, but no one wanted to help them. I hate to say that I can't really blame them as plenty of these folk would have murdered you for drug money. The others just woulda robbed you.
Kind of a rambling mess and I apologize. I hope I painted something of a picture. If you have any specific questions I'd be delighted to share details of the bittersweet misery of rural life further.
edit: addendum. These places were legally sundown towns in my mother's lifetime.
https://www.blackpast.org/african-american-history/sundown-towns/
...sounds grim and surreal. Pretty sure I've read post-apocalyptic fiction with similar backgrounds :|
I completely forgot the kicker. I was taught creationism in my science classes. ๐
Tell my suburban friends that and they say shit like "I didn't even know that still happened", like creationism as "science" died in the 50s or 60s. Nah.
Also taught that black folk were condemned to an eternity of slavery because Ham, ostensibly dark-skinned, witnessed his father Noah naked, while all the other races looked away.
I would not recommend to any black folk to visit the rural midwest. They'll tell you how not-racist they are right before they fucking lynch you. The cops will be there, assisting the lynchers. Klan flyers left on doorsteps (my family got one). NAACP put out a travel advisory for Missouri, the only entire state they've ever done that for. I don't blame them at all.
Thank you for sharing and i hope you live in better conditions now.
Thank you. I live in a relatively small city in a different state now.
Incredibly, there's shit to do! People to meet! I prefer it so much more. The quickest way to kill misanthropy, for me, has been to meet people. The kindness of utter strangers baffles me sometimes -- I'm not used to it.
Only problem is, the gunshots I hear every other day aren't so innocuous. I live in the hood, the ghetto, whatever you wanna call it, but it's my community now, you know? Care about these folk. Roads are all paved but still barely drivable. Least I can walk down the street to get my groceries if I want (and not have to drive 45 minutes to the nearest Walmart...)
Don't think I've ever heard live gunshots in my city. Even in the 90's, when the country was a bleeping warzone. Only ever heard some in the countryside, from far away (hunters or plinkers). And you are saying it's a regular occurrence?
Moved into my new place last month. Heard shots three times. One time it was just brap brap brap. Another time sounded like two. Heard a fucking shootout maybe two weeks ago, maybe 8 or 9.
Some folk mistake fireworks for gunshots, and I guess it's possible that I was just hearing kids playing with M80s or something. But I know folk who've been shot, know folk whose family have been murdered in drive-bys, and I'm familiar with the sound of gunfire. You won't even hear about it on the news.
My unsolicited advice? Get out. ASAP.
Rural Amerika will not be where revolution emerges. I tried to convince myself that there was some sort of organizing worth doing, that having to drive an hour each way every day to work was bearable, that I could radicalize enough people for my presence there to matter. It never would have.
Do not apologize for leaving that misery in your dust, do not look back. These places are spiderwebs that will keep trying to pull you back in every time you escape.
I spent the majority of my life thus far in the extreme isolation and cultural hell you are describing. I'm sorry you're there now. The past few years have been the happiest, most actualizing of my life. Part of growing up for me, maybe, but know that I owe so much of it to having people to interact with.
If you meet someone insufferable, do not worry. They are but one of many. You will meet better people.
I relate to the hospital bit. There is a hospital 25 minutes from that area, however it has (I am not exaggerating) appeared on multiple blog posts like "top 10 worst hospitals in America". I once spent 14 hours there as a kid just to get dx'd with bronchitis in about 10 minutes. My dad kept leaving the room to go fetch someone every few hours. He'd always come back alone, angrier than the last time.
I just moved here in january, i still have my house in california. I just got some hunting land in the south to build a vacation home on essentially. Basically treating it like building a private resort in a 3rd world country lol.
My town in california wasnt much better. The hospital i worked at just went bankrupt so theres no hospital there within 30+ miles either. But theres at least better food and access to major cities in one days drive.
is that you midwestern marx?
If only I could be so based. (Usually...)