Sigh. I don't know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.

So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don't know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don't feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.

First two weeks, I didn't talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that's about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who've joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.

At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.

I just don't know what to do. I don't have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.

Edit: Wow, I didn't expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I'm reading every one of your replies! I love this community.

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[–] 4 points 5 hours ago (1 child)

Just remember that most people just wanna be entertained and talk about themselves. Ask regular questions that you wish someone would ask you, and you solve both of the challenges.

If you say or do something stupid, acknowledge it and move on with the rest of the day.

Follow through. If you say you will check out a book /show/movie/ band…actually do it, and be honest about what you think, it will give you something to talk about.

Try to have a question and a compliment on standby for everyone you see regularly. You might need to devote a few minutes to this daily but it’ll be worth it.

Never expect anyone to do anything for you and you won’t resent them when the inevitably don’t do anything for you. The people that actually do things for you despite your lack of expectation, probably genuinely like you and want to be around you.

Don’t apologize about everything you do but be sincere if you do apologize and then CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR.

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  • [–] 3 points 4 hours ago

    Just remember that most people just wanna be entertained and talk about themselves.

    I think this is a pretty negative perspective. Reframe it in your mind a little.

    People aren't looking for you to entertain them like a dancing monkey. We just enjoy new experiences, learning new things, and having novel interactions with others.

    Most people also generally don't want to just talk about themselves, but we do like when people have a genuine interest in us.

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