Sigh. I don't know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.

So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don't know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don't feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.

First two weeks, I didn't talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that's about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who've joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.

At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.

I just don't know what to do. I don't have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.

Edit: Wow, I didn't expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I'm reading every one of your replies! I love this community.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] 3 points 13 hours ago* (1 child)

Find out what your coworker's nerdy interests are, then do some light research on it.

Then the next time you see them, ask them a bunch of questions about the subject. Try to talk little. Just listen and ask more questions.

People who are nerds about some topic love to talk about that subject. This is the easiest way to break the ice. Show them that you respect their knowledge on the subject, that you've learned a lot from them. Thank them. They'll respect you more too.

After a few weeks of doing this with others, you'll have their respect and then you can begin to increase the amount that you talk.

Examples: art, sports, cars, bicycles, motorcycles, movies, craft beer, wine, computers, astrology, astronomy, growing food, etc

  • source
  • hideshow 1 child comment
  • [–] 1 point 1 minute ago*

    coworker’s nerdy interests are, then do some light research

    Not saying this is bad advice, but it can feel disappointing and invalidating when they don't reciprocate. "Yeah that's cool I guess, anyways..." stings a bit when it's finally your turn to share.

  • source
  • parent