Sigh. I don't know where to start or what do I need to ask here even at all.

So, I have joined a new workplace and I just don't know how to interact with people. Most of the time I don't feel the energy to interact. But being shutdown feels not very socially acceptable behavior nor I feel it would do any good to me.

First two weeks, I didn't talk with anyone at all. Only one or two interactions here and there that's about it. After I did manage to get into small group of employees who've joined recently and they allowed me to join their social circle.

At this point, I thought I was gonna be okay and will improve at socialising. But even after a month, I still feel this feeling of being subhuman level at socialising. I feel so different, I feel so not normal. I feel everyone are just better at socialising. They got this nailed down somewhere down their lives but somehow I just missed it.

I just don't know what to do. I don't have confidence in my voice either so most of the time I try to end conversations with few words. Idk anything really.

Edit: Wow, I didn't expect this much reception to this post especially since it was very messy how I explained my problem. But you guys surprised me, haha. Thank you all for your advice. I'm reading every one of your replies! I love this community.

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[–] 17 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Something that I remember reading many years ago has stuck with me. In general, people like talking about themselves. Ask questions about what's going on in their lives. If they have pets ask about those. People love their pets. Ask about their family if they have one. The harder part may be that you need to show interest. If you want to connect to these people, try to get to know them to some degree. You don't have to know everything about them, but if some is married and has kids, get a pulse on the situation. If someone has a dog, try to remember that and ask about it. As a person with dogs, I could provide hours of stories and pictures.

Don't be political or share strong opinions, at least until you know your audience. Find out what interests they have them ask questions about that stuff. I know something about everyone on my team that I can talk about. Maybe not tons, but enough to get a conversation started that I can pivot on. When you find common ground, share something about yourself related to that.

I keep using dogs as an example, but half of my team has at least one dog. That's an easy ice breaker. From there you can pivot many directions.

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  • [–] 1 point 13 hours ago (2 children)

    Lol not me. I get super annoyed when someone asks personal questions.

    Who are you? Why does that matter? Why do you want to know so much about my personal life? Narc? Go away.

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