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Adrenaline Wave
(file.coffee)
Crosspost from https://lemm.ee/post/7910550
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this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2023
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Lemme just premtively catch the "this isn't an ADHD specific thing" by saying; That comment on this post is like going to a community of people in wheelchairs, finding an "ugh stairs" meme, and commenting "everybody hates stairs, that's not a wheelchair specific thing". Sure, everyone procrastinates, and you might think you relate but it's not the way we relate.
People procrastinate, but I'm pretty sure that most people don't sit in a cloud of anxiety, unable to do any work but also unable to do something fun, for six hours while staring at the wall unable to do anything. I'm pretty sure that when most people want to work, they just do so. I think that screaming at yourself to work but being unable to start is like, some kind of disorder... 🤔
Procrastination anxiety cloud prison is the worst trait. I guess I should start studying now... Ok now!... WTF is happening? I have quite literally wasted years of my university career to that bastard. And I mean literally years, plural. The only thing I have to show for 4 of my 7,5 years of uni is a few courses that was passed by attendance, some sporadic tidbits of knowledge, and last but certainly not least a crippling debt.
At the age of early 40s I've finally been diagnosed and have started taking methylphenidate. If only I had done that 25 years ago. It's not too late folks!
fuck me I really should go get diagnosed already.... any day now.
Oh boy have I been there. And when I finally got my shit together and got my GP to write a referral, the first psychiatrist I called had a voice-mail informing me that he was off on vacation and would be back two weeks ago. That alone set me back a month.
Do you have someone close in your life? Like an SO, parents, roommate etc? If you can't focus on hauling your ass to the doc then maybe try opening up to one of them. That way there'll at least be someone bugging you to stay on the path of diagnosis.
It's like when I have an appointment today at 2 PM. Guess I'll get ready at 9 AM and sit around waiting until it's a reasonable time to leave to arrive an hour early...