this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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I'm no expert here, but so far the only way I've seen is to go to /instances from whatever server you inquiring about.
Such as, lemm.ee/instances
It's cumbersome in that you have to scroll past a massive list of federated instances (across the whole fediverse, not just lemmy), but you'll eventually get to the list of defederated instances at the bottom.
I've been curious myself tho, if there's a way to directly see what/if any instances have defederated from yours.