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[–] NathanRanch@lemmy.zip 1 point 22 hours ago (4 children)

You do have a point, but you've applied it to every aspect of all women and you sound short sighted. That was the theme of my previous post and you missed it. You've read what some women want you to read, and have reacted in a way that is advantageous to them and their goals. This does not extend to all women, like at all - it's not even possible ( you can't even explain how it works ). I know plenty of women that like to be approached, I know plenty that don't. People are always more interesting and diverse than what your ideologies can explain. You've put both feet in a bear trap and jumped my friend. You're so wrapped up in assumptions you've missed the forest for the trees, probably for someone else's gain. Whatever twitter handles you follow, or Manophere youtubers you listen to, it's not constructive to your individual experience in anyway that related to women. I'm sorry, it's just not. That means it's stupid, and you should try something else.

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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 point 22 hours ago* (3 children)

Okay, I'll admit it was an overly broad generalization, and I shouldn't have called you a dumbass. So I'm sorry for that. I was a bit heated because the other commenter had me riled up.

But I'll start this by saying I don't follow any fucking twitter handles or manosphere youtubers. I'm chagrined that you would even assume that about me. You have me mispegged, and that's causing you to view everything I say through a lens where you're already making assumptions about the intent.

I've listened to the opinions of many women. I've read what they say online and in women's support spaces. Yes, that doesn't mean it represents the opinion of every woman, but to discount it entirely just because it can't be framed as an absolute would be the wrong approach.

The best conclusion one can draw is, that of the women who have expressed their opinions in formats that I have access to, the majority of them seem to agree on the "man versus bear" narrative. And if I, upon learning that, don't conclude "so I shouldn't approach women then," then I'd be in the wrong.

Even if there's a smaller percentage who think "But I want to be approached," the reality is, I can't read their mind, and I'm not going to guess. There's no way for me to spot "Oh this woman wants to be approached" from visual cues alone. So I'm going to err on the side of caution and treat every woman like she wants to be left alone.

Anything else and I'd be in the wrong. So if you really want to claim I'm being toxic and misogynist by literally going out of my way and changing my behavior based on what I've learned in order to make sure women feel more comfortable in public, then this is a really topsy turvy world and there would be no point in trying to comprehend something so self-contradictory.

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[–] NathanRanch@lemmy.zip 1 point 22 hours ago (2 children)

A lot of these are just that, Narratives. No woman would jump into the arms of the bear, literally. Focusing on the details of wanting to be approached or not, it's playing to the whims of content creators and rage baiters. People are people. If you see an attractive woman, make a move, and move on. So much of this just melts away under scrutiny. It's only supposed to distract and serve the ad loops we're all trapped in, not us. It's not constructive, leave it behind.

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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 point 21 hours ago (1 child)

But I don't want to make women feel uncomfortable. That's the core of the issue. If approaching them or treating them as a potential dating partner even might do that, then I won't do it. That's the sum of what I'm trying to say.

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[–] NathanRanch@lemmy.zip 1 point 20 hours ago

Bruh we're all uncomfortable. Pretty much most of the time. Don't rationalize or overthink it. You can't plan for when you'll make someone uncomfortable at the best of times.