I will say though, there's something about not trying which has always worked for me. Desperation and confidence are incompatible. That's why it's so much easier to flirt with people when you're in a relationship already, because the stakes are low. You're relaxed and confident because you (probably) aren't trying to actually hook up. I've seen this so many times in both directions - the same jokes, the same anecdotes, that same weird laugh - all somehow land better the moment you are just goofing around instead of trying to pick someone up.