tilthat T1,1_ there is no physical description of Jesus in the Bible. 
volcel-official False Luke 2:52 He's larger than a baby 
amateuropinions By the description of him driving the moneylenders from the temple, we can also tell that he fit inside the temple, which gives us an upper bound as well as a lower bound on his size. 
F7:1 veraxplus Ysf. It's been said that Jesus Christ was larger than a baby but smaller than a temple
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[–] 16 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Well then, how can we be sure he didn’t just cast the donkey riding spell?

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  • [–] 12 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (4 children)

    I checked the shaman's spellbook and they don't have that spell, only Paladins have that

    Edit: to clarify, I believe Jesus was a shaman because he could walk on water, resurrect from death (ankh), and as a carpenter he was probably well capable of crafting totems. There's also documented cases of him going melee combat (with tables, mostly) and healing others too

    The food trick implies that he had a friendly mage though conjuring food, though he took the credit for himself

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  • [–] 8 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    jesus is famously a warlock, what with the getting his power from a patron deity thing.

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  • [–] 11 points 1 day ago (1 child)

    But then he was also descended from said deity, so celestial-bloodline sorcerer would also make sense?

    And through weird extradimensional time shenanigans he is also said deity? I don't understand it myself, but I'm told it makes sense in 12 dimensions.

    He was also briefly undead, likely a revenant given the unfinished business.

    All of this depends on the edition of the lore you read though. In the beginning he was probably just a warlock multiclassing in cleric, then a supplemental edition has him ascend to demi-god status, which was later ruled actual divinity by a local authority once the franchise changed hands. Later, some of it was retconned and toned down for being too OP in another rulebook, but famously that rulebook wasn't very well accepted even though a sizeable playerbase still exists.

    There are later editions where the pathway to divinity is laid out and Jesus is one of many gods, but that rulebook is still considered niche despite some disproportionate influence.

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