I hope you read this full comment. I spent some time on it and I am happy to help if you want to DM.
I’d recommend therapy, look into sliding scale or other public mental health services. They might be non-existent, but there is also Telehealth services which might help with cost. If you have a job that offers benefits, even if they are poor, might have EAP benefits which you can usually use for a small handful of sessions for zero cost. Focus on finding a provider that takes EAP in your local area, and focus on finding low cost mental health services so you can continue care.
Start dressing better, go to a store with an employee (even if it’s a thrift store) and ask for their recommendations and opinions. Make sure they are well fitting, and if you can afford it, get some alterations or learn to sew.
Go to a stylist, not a barber or chain, before you go, ask them if they do consultations. Tell them you want a haircut that suits your face and you. I personally prefer to have women do this part. Once the haircut is done, take photos and videos of every angle. Have them show you how to style it yourself, then do it yourself, and have them correct it. Purchase the products they recommend, if cost is a concern, voice that and see if they can recommend different ones that fit your budget.
Take care of yourself, clean your ass, shower regularly, use shampoo and conditioner, groom yourself.
Take some time to pick out a good cologne/parfum. Don’t go overboard with it, but a good scent goes a long way! Spend some time, find a good salesperson who will actually HELP you instead of just handing samples out. Get a good parfum around $100 and a decent one at a lower price. It’s expensive, but it’s worth the investment.
Start finding clubs, meetups, small business groups, etc. something to become social, don’t worry about attracting your preferred partner. Even if the entire meetup is 100% your preferred partner, everyone is a friend. Make friends, push yourself, if you “click” with someone, say “hey, I really enjoyed talking with you, here is my phone number. Let’s talk more” you can also say “get coffee” or whatever.
If you like gaming, then add them on that, try and play with them.
People won’t reciprocate as much, so you’ll have to be the “active” friend who reaches out and sets up stuff.
Lots will fade, be rejected, or be ghosted. That’s okay, you are refining your social skills. It’s a muscle, you have to practice, exercise, etc.
Work on your apartment/bouse/whatever. Get toiletries for both genders, regardless of your preferences. Tampons, pads, conditioner, shampoo, some nicer towels.
Clean your bathroom, keep it tidy and smelling nice. Clean your whole apartment. Trash cans in every room.
Connect with old friends, be social, push yourself.
Lastly, actually dating. Online dating is hit or miss, but have multiple single photos, 1-2 max with friends. Humor works, I met my partner by putting together a slide deck for my online dating profile. Stuff like “pictures of animals that I do not own” and pictures of me with random animals. Make light fun of yourself, I had a bulleted list of “reasons why you should date me” and a few bullets were “not bad at sex”, “gives unlimited foot massages”, “has many hoodies for you to steal” and the last was “please”. The slide deck increased my matches by a few orders of magnitudes, because I showed that I am chill, I like animals, and I have a sense of humor. Look at online forums for things like tinder, not really for advice, but to see the things that they make fun of. For men it’s pictures of them with fish or dead animals. Don’t do things like that.
If/when you get a date, show up a bit early, don’t drink or consume drugs, be well groomed, break out your fancy parfum. At this point you’ve practiced your social skills, so just treat this person as if they are a human. Not an object. Don’t push or have expectations.
A small gift like flowers or a trinket is okay. You can skip it for a first date.
Make sure to give them an opportunity to talk, they should give you an opportunity as well. Temper your interests, it’s okay to talk about your interests, but don’t go on a 40 minute rant. It’s also okay to catch yourself and go “oh I’m sorry, I just feel passionately about X” and let them have an opportunity to let you continue or not.
It’s okay if it doesn’t work out, I’ve been on many dates that went no where. Show you care and are engaged, even if they aren’t someone you see a future with they can be a friend.
Be conscious of their safety and health. Give them your jacket if it’s cold, hold the door, etc. make sure they make it home safe, if you have their number, send them a text asking if they got home safe and if appropriate, the next day express that you enjoyed the date.