Yes it does, and there's no need to be a dick about it.
The story itself is just off. It's not how anybody acts or talks in real life. America is not a gift economy where strangers gladly spend time and effort and gas moving furniture and heavy appliances for a few slices of pizza (and laughingly refuse payment). Ain't nobody got time for that. Struggling to guilt friends into doing that kind of grunt work for pizza has been a cringe humor trope forever.
The short staccato sentences. The constant anaphora (repeating "Kevin" or "Tony" half a dozen times in a few short paragraphs).
The overly dramatic ALL CAPS PRONOUNCEMENTS.
The oddly-specific numbers ("fifteen mile radius", "eleven minutes")
The expected not X, but Y constructions and reversals ("which felt rehearsed and was not")
Weird serious emphasis on unremarkable things nobody would care about (sitting on the couch first, the daughter being aggressive)
Why would a man you've never met ask you if you could help them move?
Etc.
These are all legitimate rhetorical tricks, but the way it's laid on so thickly and uncannily in short punchy sentences screams AI, specifically Claude's particular style of prose.
Also, GPTZero and Pangram both say it's 100% AI generated.
Also, they've literally said: "I'm simply a Japanese creator who writes in Japanese, uses translation tools and AI as creative tools, and tries to tell funny stories."