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Recommendation for on book about menopause. (lemmy.dbzer0.com)
submitted 1 week ago by to c/books@lemmy.world
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Hi all,

So my wife and I have been told yesterday that the return of her breast cancer is incurable and so the treatment options are all going to involve trying to keep it at bay.

As such the first thing that they will be doing is effectively switching off her ovaries and forcing an early menopause. I know barely anything about menopause, what that is going to entail for her both physically and mentally or things to expect.

Can anyone recommend any books for me to check out that can explain and help me to understand what she is about to go through with this so that I can better help support her?

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[–] 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

A few books on menopause that I’ve flipped through:

  • The Menopause Manifesto by Jen Gunter*
  • The New Menopause by Mary Claire Haver
  • The Menopause Companion by Sasha Davies

Books on perimenopause, which may not quite be what she’s looking for, but it could still be helpful to both of you:

  • The Perimenopause Survival Guide by Heather Hirsch
  • The New Perimenopause by Mary Claire Haver*
  • Perimenopause for Dummies by Rebecca Levy-Ganett
  • Hormone Havoc by Amy Shah

I’ve looked more into perimenopause since that’s where I am, but all of the books listed are available at my local library. The ones I really recommend have a * next to them.

Everyone’s journey through perimenopause and menopause is very different. From experience, I can tell you my mood swings can be really intense, going from super high to really big lows. I don’t remember exactly how it works, but it’s either estrogen or progesterone that are linked to the production of serotonin and when one goes missing, serotonin is harder for the body to produce, and can lead to significant drops in mood. You may see her go from really happy, to really angry for seemingly no reason, to really sad and crying. This has happened to me, I get very angry over some stupid little thing, then I get sad and upset that I was so angry over such a stupid little thing.

Since she’s doing this at her doctor’s suggestion, she may have an easier time getting HRT, which has helped many of the ladies I work with. If/when she starts feeling off, make sure she knows she can talk to you. If nothing more, sometimes we just need a big hug from someone we trust to let us know it’s ok and we’re not alone.

Last week, I took over as the mod of the menopause community on Lemmy.world. It’s still very quiet right now, I’m working on weekly posts, but you are both more than welcome to come over. Definitely check out the menopause wiki, it’s linked in the comm info and it’s one that my colleagues were also looking at.

I hope everything works out for you both!

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 1 week ago* (1 child)

    Hi,

    Thank you so much for the long, thought out response.

    She already knows a lot about all of the different facets of what is going to happen to her as she has been through it all already. She had breast cancer 16 years ago and back then they took a similar approach of using zoladex to basically switch off her ovaries and force her into a menopausal state, stopping the production of estrogen which is what the cancer is feeding on in the hopes to basically starve it. Because of this she is not only well read kn the subject but has lived through it all already so knows what to expect.

    She can't do HRT or any supplements because of the nature of the fact that it is to fight cancer and it won't necessarily be the exact same as your "traditional menopause"

    So this reading is more for me to be prepared, to have a good basis of what will be going on for her so that I can have a good understanding of both what is happening inside of her body and also to get some idea of what may be going on in her mind so that I can better be prepared to help support her with what ever she might need at the time.

    The original cancer was when she was just 24 and as such the transition into that state was very harsh seeing as she was at peak estrogen production going into a state of basically none so we were told that everything will have been more intense back then because of the drastic change in levels. Not to say that it won't be absolutely miserable for her this time either but hopefully it will at least be slightly less pronounced than it was for her back then.

    I'm just trying to be there as best I can so I intend to make sure she knows that I am here to support her in what ever way she feels she needs at the time be that to talk, have a hug or leave her alone I just think having a knowledge of what is going on will help me understand things like the mood swings a little better.

    I'm not ever going to be able to relate to it on a personal level, I just hope that I can be someone that she can lean on and rely on in what is going to be a very hard time for her.

    I will check out as many of these books I can find as well as other people suggestions in the hope that I can at least make it a little better by having someone who is there for her no matter what.

    Thanks again for the detailed response and I will search the community and subscribe so that I can follow along with what you post even if I can't contribute in any meaningful way.

    Have a great day!

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