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[–] 93 points 2 days ago (10 children)

If Jesus came back now the US would keep on killing him until he stayed dead.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 days ago

    Incorrect. If Jesus came back today he would be largely ignored. He would most likely end up either homeless or committed to a mental institution. If anyone did realize he was the real Jesus returned to the world there would most likely be a third world war, not between different nations but between different multinational corporations all trying to decide who gets exclusive rights to his name and intellectual property. Nuclear bombs would be dropped to figure out who would own the rights to The Bible with explicit permission to alter, amend, or remove entirely any passages they want. In that case Jesus himself would most likely be kept hidden away in some corporate bunker for fear that he might give another sermon FOR FREE before it can be locked down under an official publishing contract.

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  • [–] 9 points 2 days ago* (3 children)

    Jesus said that when He returns He'll have a Holy Army at His back and they will murder everybody.

    The lake of blood will be miles wide and "as deep as a horse's bridle".

    He won't come back as a hippy. (according to Him)

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  • [–] 3 points 2 days ago (1 child)

    don't make me come over there!

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  • [–] 1 point 1 day ago*

    Honestly this is my take as a gnostic towards the Zionist Christians (like my parents). You mean you're really gonna kick off the Apocalypse and drag Jesus down here like a toddler demanding attention from daddy? Like they've told me what's going on in the middle east is just part of Jesus coming back. Even if we genuinely assume all of this is 100% true when interpreted 100% literally how in the actual fuck do you think Jesus is gonna be happy to have to be dragged down to save us TWICE.

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