Lmao that sounds like a python library

Oh god, worse than I could possible have imagined D:

It's hammered into a lot of people's heads that the word is very mean, and not just "insult" but "remember, people like you used to be considered animals and treated like property, subject to difficult to fathom attrocities".
It doesn't need to be directed to be a reminder. While reference is likewise a reminder, it's at least couched in terms that convey the speaker understands it has weight beyond "insult".
Couple that with saying it as a white person can carry significant reputation damage.

Since these lessons are usually imparted in childhood implicitly, and it doesn't come up often enough to drive introspection for most people, it just lingers as "don't say words that hurt people and make everyone dislike you".

Once I used it like that at work, everyone was surprised, and so I looked it up after. I'm actually dead now. This is my ghost typing.

Kind of? Like you could call a child a "little bugger" and that would just be calling them annoying rather than an arse fucker

Well, there was one episode of South Park about people who annoy you...

Doesn't matter, the word is rooted in homophobic intent.