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[–] 94 points 1 day ago (29 children)

A coven of witches cast harmful spells on a person day and night.

He becomes president of the USA, then a billionaire. He avoids jail time for serious crimes.

Wow, the power of witchcraft is staggering

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  • [–] 31 points 1 day ago (5 children)

    Well, see, normally those evil spells would have reduced him to a gibbering idiot barely clinging to his health, but thanks to the constant prayers of good Christian MAGAs he is shielded by Jesus and remains an articulate stable genius in record breaking good health just as GOD ordained him to be.

    barf

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  • [–] 10 points 1 day ago* (1 child)

    I know it's a joke, but the temptation to create a highly-targeted advertising campaign on Facebook soliciting "prayers for Trump" in exchange for cash from braindead boomers is really hard to ignore.

    Like I know it's very morally wrong in general, and certainly unethical any way you slice it, but is it really still wrong if you're pointing those extremely granularly targeted ads toward people who definitely helped to screw us all over? (e.g. older folks in deep-red, HCOL areas who have high incomes and list Christianity as a personal interest)

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  • [–] 6 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    Good health is definitely one way to describe the diaper baby. Maybe they need to pray a little harder.

    with your help, they can- barf

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  • [–] 5 points 1 day ago* (1 child)

    I think that might be a Trump quote/paraphrase. He brags about his record-breaking good health and incredible performance on dementia inventories all the time.

    Edit: sloppy proofreading

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  • [+] -7 points 1 day ago (19 children)

    Ya know, this would be more funny if they actually didn't do devil rituals.....

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  • [–] 5 points 1 day ago (10 children)

    You mean that thing where they eat the flesh and drink the blood of their Lord of the Undead? Yeah they're pretty creepy those Xtian rituals.

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  • [+] -6 points 1 day ago (9 children)

    No, when they sacrifice people to a giant owl in the middle of the woods. Or the child sex stuff.

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  • [–] 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 child)

    The child sex stuff is the Christians, as has been terribly well documented.

    Also the torture and killing (see Indian Boarding Schools as just one of many examples https://boardingschoolhealing.org/us-indian-boarding-school-history/).

    You want to provide a source for "they sacrifice people to a giant owl in the middle of the woods"?

    Edit: I found this, if so it's still KKKristians and males only. https://www.thebolditalic.com/the-most-secretive-club-in-america/

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  • [–] 2 points 1 day ago (3 children)

    I truly feel sorry for you if you believe that. I'm genuinely hoping you're just trolling for fun.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    Same please learn to like science

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  • [–] 0 points 22 hours ago (1 child)

    I love how you people claim words like, "science" or "logic " when in reality all of your so called "conversations" are just you expecting me to wade through a river of your bullshit and pretend that's not what we're actually doing. The only conversation worth having with you people is the one where I explain how stupid you are...and even that gets really boring and old after only a few times.

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  • [–] 0 points 1 day ago (2 children)

    They do not sacrifice people to the owl. But there is indeed an owl.

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  • [–] 2 points 23 hours ago* (1 child)
  • [–] 2 points 11 hours ago

    Yeah, the problem with these people is that they lack the creative passion to do fun scary rituals. They live for the line going up, and the futile attempts to fill the hole in their soul only make their lack more real, so they distract themselves endlessly with numbers and simple cruelty.

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  • [–] 4 points 1 day ago (7 children)

    Honestly, I don't believe that people really do that stuff. At the very least, I think it is much more rare than people think.

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  • [–] -2 points 1 day ago (6 children)

    Buddy there is literally video evidence.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 day ago (5 children)

    That one would do great with the link

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  • [–] -4 points 1 day ago (4 children)