I was busy getting absolutely sloshed on scotch at home alone because I was an alcoholic, the power went out, and I thought "I'll light some candles and read a book in bed!"

Promptly passed out and woke up to the smoke alarm going off with flames crackling up the wooden bedside cabinet and the mattress starting to smoke, burning my forehead and some of my hair.

The only reason I didn't die is because I forgot to close the bedroom door, the smoke detector was out in the hall. If the door was closed, the room would have filled with smoke and killed me before the alarm went off.