Wife had a similarly terrible experience, and not that it holds a candle to yours and hers, but it was awful for me, too: Sexual intercourse was a guaranteed needle-stabbing-into-the-tip-of-my-dick situation, every time, and when it was brought up with the OBGYN, she dismissively said I was just "bragging about my size." I was not. No action was ever taken, right up until I got a vasectomy and she had the IUD removed.

I'm sorry that you, and she, and so many others have had to endure what you have endured. I think these IUD's need to go back to the drawing board, and on a larger scale, that there needs to be some major cultural shift to how male contraception is approached. This could be so much easier for everyone, if religion and money would get out of the way of science.