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What is the laziest, most anti-elitist way to make coffee? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 week ago by [M] to c/coffee@lemmy.world
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I have an idea for a post, some may have seen a comment of mine earlier. I’m looking for the most offensive-to-coffee-snobs approach to making coffee possible. I’m assuming something to do with instant, but from there, I don’t have many ideas.

Someone suggested reconstituting it in milk, that seems fun, any other ideas? I’m fully expecting the end result to be absolutely disgusting, for what it’s worth. I’m looking for the worst abomination possible, but it still needs to technically be coffee. Get creative, have fun with this. Whichever technique gets chosen (or multiple get combined), I’ll credit in the post I make.

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[–] 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Make a small espresso in the way you know your target victem/snob prefers. Including the use of the right small cup, the most fancy beans you can get your hands on, and the best espresso machine you can afford. But instead of handing this small cup of goodness over to the exited snob, you poor it into a pot. The bigger the pot, the better. Then add lukewarm water until the pot is full. Now stare your victem in the eyes, and deadpan tell then that you now have drink-ready coffee for the whole party.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 1 week ago (1 child)

    While you’re probably right, I don’t think I have it in me to ruin a good bag of beans like that. Which probably further goes to prove your point. So fair enough.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago

    Just put cheap beans in the packaging of the expensive ones. Same shock value for them, less guilt for you. And remember, the performance is everything here; you have to sell it for maximum emotional damage.

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