I am so sorry, my dude. I feel your pain as I struggled for quite a bit as well, my wife almost lost all trust in me during that period of time and it honestly was soul crushing af.

I hope for all the best for you, I can relate to that. Lost 3 clients as a contractor during 2022-2025 and currently work only with one single client and things aren't going too well financially for him but I try to keep myself optimistic.