▲ 491 ▼ Anon questions the epidemic (thelemmy.club) submitted 2 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works [M] to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works 121 comments fedilink hide all child comments
[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 205 points 2 days ago (3 children) having sex (perhaps just once?) doesn't equal not lonely, though. permalink fedilink source hideshow 6 child comments replies: [–] papalonian@lemmy.world 84 points 2 days ago (2 children) No, I'm pretty sure that every man who has had sex at least once in their life turned out to be a top bloke permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago Or bottom bloke permalink fedilink source parent [–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 child) But can't top blokes be lonely? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Valthorn@feddit.nu 40 points 2 days ago (1 child) They say it's lonely at the top, bloke. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] lath@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (1 child) So.. more men as bottoms? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 child) That is why most men actually prefer to be on the bottom. Less lonely. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago Its best when she's on top is all Im sayn 🤷🏿♂️ (I wouldnt know though as Im a virgin) permalink fedilink source parent [–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 49 points 2 days ago* (2 children) In fact sex being used as the indicator is actually a clue to one of the largest contributors. There's a very wide reaching assumption that men should get most of their emotional support from their female partner. This is often very stressful to the female partner and is a fragile way to meet a basic need; if she gets sick or dies he's probably not far behind her. Men need to learn how to compliment and hug each other platonically. It's 2026 and it's for their own good ffs. I keep giving my male patients brochures for men's support groups and I really hope at least some of them are actually going. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Daywim@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (5 children) It seems so surreal to me that other men don’t hug each other, or tell their friends that they love them permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 10 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago many men do have emotional support from friends and comradierie though. Oddly, the more macho and often homophobic they are, the more gay it seems. permalink fedilink source parent [–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* because that's gay. but for real, for every person that says men need to talk about their feelings and hug it out... you realize that there are 10 other people who would regard you as being gay/not a man for doing that, right? and that includes men and women. real world is more complex than internet nerds want to believe. permalink fedilink source parent [–] kshade@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago* (1 child) Furry here, we do that stuff. It's pretty good, can recommend. Also men used to do that a lot more, before the world wars. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Forester@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago We do it a lot more but it does exist in other places just less hug centric more a hand on a shoulder. Normally social groups and clubs. it requires older men that are not entirely Jaded to set the example. Unfortunately those guys mostly have passed at this point and most boomers don't have the cognitive bandwidth. permalink fedilink source parent [–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (1 child) Sometimes I lightly punch my friends in the balls to thank them for being vulnerable around me. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago sometimes I rub their butts and tongue their balls to remind them that someone cares. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org 5 points 2 days ago As a men with almost a bromance with his best friend... Frrrrrr. Like, let's not even go as far as a hug (for many it's simply uncomfortable, whether it's with a man or a woman; I only hug my mother and my sister, for example xd), but there are other forms of intimacy and emotional support that shouldn't be tied to gender. I mean, words of affirmation, the simple act of crying openly or expressing fears, anxieties, feelings or emotions, or expressing love or affection (platonically, as many mistakenly associate an "I love you" with something exclusive to romantic relationships); even just staying near to each other or hanging out with each other is a huge help. Romanticism is something overrated and the same goes for sex, and I say this as someone who is alloromantic and allosexual. And of course, they're for sure a genuine and legitimate, and overall valid way of social and emotional interaction and intimacy, but not the only one or the best one for everyone. permalink fedilink source parent [+] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org 1 point 2 days ago [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent [–] village604@adultswim.fan 26 points 2 days ago (1 child) Having a ton of sex doesn't equal not lonely either. Like Barney from HIMYM, or Charlie Sheen in 2.5 men. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago (1 child) I think you can generally assume that men who have a ton of sex, aside from for hire, know and interact with a lot of people. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 point 6 hours ago* That doesn't equal not lonely. Much of the time it's a mask hiding how lonely they are. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 84 points 2 days ago (2 children) No, I'm pretty sure that every man who has had sex at least once in their life turned out to be a top bloke permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 day ago Or bottom bloke permalink fedilink source parent [–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 child) But can't top blokes be lonely? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Valthorn@feddit.nu 40 points 2 days ago (1 child) They say it's lonely at the top, bloke. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] lath@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (1 child) So.. more men as bottoms? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 child) That is why most men actually prefer to be on the bottom. Less lonely. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago Its best when she's on top is all Im sayn 🤷🏿♂️ (I wouldnt know though as Im a virgin) permalink fedilink source parent
[–] trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world 25 points 2 days ago (1 child) But can't top blokes be lonely? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Valthorn@feddit.nu 40 points 2 days ago (1 child) They say it's lonely at the top, bloke. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] lath@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (1 child) So.. more men as bottoms? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 child) That is why most men actually prefer to be on the bottom. Less lonely. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago Its best when she's on top is all Im sayn 🤷🏿♂️ (I wouldnt know though as Im a virgin) permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Valthorn@feddit.nu 40 points 2 days ago (1 child) They say it's lonely at the top, bloke. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] lath@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (1 child) So.. more men as bottoms? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 child) That is why most men actually prefer to be on the bottom. Less lonely. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago Its best when she's on top is all Im sayn 🤷🏿♂️ (I wouldnt know though as Im a virgin) permalink fedilink source parent
[–] lath@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (1 child) So.. more men as bottoms? permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 child) That is why most men actually prefer to be on the bottom. Less lonely. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago Its best when she's on top is all Im sayn 🤷🏿♂️ (I wouldnt know though as Im a virgin) permalink fedilink source parent
[–] a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago (1 child) That is why most men actually prefer to be on the bottom. Less lonely. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago Its best when she's on top is all Im sayn 🤷🏿♂️ (I wouldnt know though as Im a virgin) permalink fedilink source parent
[–] UnequalExchange@lemmy.world 2 points 16 hours ago Its best when she's on top is all Im sayn 🤷🏿♂️ (I wouldnt know though as Im a virgin) permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 49 points 2 days ago* (2 children) In fact sex being used as the indicator is actually a clue to one of the largest contributors. There's a very wide reaching assumption that men should get most of their emotional support from their female partner. This is often very stressful to the female partner and is a fragile way to meet a basic need; if she gets sick or dies he's probably not far behind her. Men need to learn how to compliment and hug each other platonically. It's 2026 and it's for their own good ffs. I keep giving my male patients brochures for men's support groups and I really hope at least some of them are actually going. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 4 child comments replies: [–] Daywim@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (5 children) It seems so surreal to me that other men don’t hug each other, or tell their friends that they love them permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 10 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago many men do have emotional support from friends and comradierie though. Oddly, the more macho and often homophobic they are, the more gay it seems. permalink fedilink source parent [–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* because that's gay. but for real, for every person that says men need to talk about their feelings and hug it out... you realize that there are 10 other people who would regard you as being gay/not a man for doing that, right? and that includes men and women. real world is more complex than internet nerds want to believe. permalink fedilink source parent [–] kshade@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago* (1 child) Furry here, we do that stuff. It's pretty good, can recommend. Also men used to do that a lot more, before the world wars. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Forester@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago We do it a lot more but it does exist in other places just less hug centric more a hand on a shoulder. Normally social groups and clubs. it requires older men that are not entirely Jaded to set the example. Unfortunately those guys mostly have passed at this point and most boomers don't have the cognitive bandwidth. permalink fedilink source parent [–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (1 child) Sometimes I lightly punch my friends in the balls to thank them for being vulnerable around me. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago sometimes I rub their butts and tongue their balls to remind them that someone cares. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org 5 points 2 days ago As a men with almost a bromance with his best friend... Frrrrrr. Like, let's not even go as far as a hug (for many it's simply uncomfortable, whether it's with a man or a woman; I only hug my mother and my sister, for example xd), but there are other forms of intimacy and emotional support that shouldn't be tied to gender. I mean, words of affirmation, the simple act of crying openly or expressing fears, anxieties, feelings or emotions, or expressing love or affection (platonically, as many mistakenly associate an "I love you" with something exclusive to romantic relationships); even just staying near to each other or hanging out with each other is a huge help. Romanticism is something overrated and the same goes for sex, and I say this as someone who is alloromantic and allosexual. And of course, they're for sure a genuine and legitimate, and overall valid way of social and emotional interaction and intimacy, but not the only one or the best one for everyone. permalink fedilink source parent [+] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org 1 point 2 days ago [deleted] permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Daywim@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (5 children) It seems so surreal to me that other men don’t hug each other, or tell their friends that they love them permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 10 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago many men do have emotional support from friends and comradierie though. Oddly, the more macho and often homophobic they are, the more gay it seems. permalink fedilink source parent [–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* because that's gay. but for real, for every person that says men need to talk about their feelings and hug it out... you realize that there are 10 other people who would regard you as being gay/not a man for doing that, right? and that includes men and women. real world is more complex than internet nerds want to believe. permalink fedilink source parent [–] kshade@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago* (1 child) Furry here, we do that stuff. It's pretty good, can recommend. Also men used to do that a lot more, before the world wars. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Forester@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago We do it a lot more but it does exist in other places just less hug centric more a hand on a shoulder. Normally social groups and clubs. it requires older men that are not entirely Jaded to set the example. Unfortunately those guys mostly have passed at this point and most boomers don't have the cognitive bandwidth. permalink fedilink source parent [–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (1 child) Sometimes I lightly punch my friends in the balls to thank them for being vulnerable around me. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago sometimes I rub their butts and tongue their balls to remind them that someone cares. permalink fedilink source parent [–] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org 5 points 2 days ago As a men with almost a bromance with his best friend... Frrrrrr. Like, let's not even go as far as a hug (for many it's simply uncomfortable, whether it's with a man or a woman; I only hug my mother and my sister, for example xd), but there are other forms of intimacy and emotional support that shouldn't be tied to gender. I mean, words of affirmation, the simple act of crying openly or expressing fears, anxieties, feelings or emotions, or expressing love or affection (platonically, as many mistakenly associate an "I love you" with something exclusive to romantic relationships); even just staying near to each other or hanging out with each other is a huge help. Romanticism is something overrated and the same goes for sex, and I say this as someone who is alloromantic and allosexual. And of course, they're for sure a genuine and legitimate, and overall valid way of social and emotional interaction and intimacy, but not the only one or the best one for everyone. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago many men do have emotional support from friends and comradierie though. Oddly, the more macho and often homophobic they are, the more gay it seems. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago* because that's gay. but for real, for every person that says men need to talk about their feelings and hug it out... you realize that there are 10 other people who would regard you as being gay/not a man for doing that, right? and that includes men and women. real world is more complex than internet nerds want to believe. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] kshade@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago* (1 child) Furry here, we do that stuff. It's pretty good, can recommend. Also men used to do that a lot more, before the world wars. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Forester@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago We do it a lot more but it does exist in other places just less hug centric more a hand on a shoulder. Normally social groups and clubs. it requires older men that are not entirely Jaded to set the example. Unfortunately those guys mostly have passed at this point and most boomers don't have the cognitive bandwidth. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Forester@pawb.social 8 points 2 days ago We do it a lot more but it does exist in other places just less hug centric more a hand on a shoulder. Normally social groups and clubs. it requires older men that are not entirely Jaded to set the example. Unfortunately those guys mostly have passed at this point and most boomers don't have the cognitive bandwidth. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago (1 child) Sometimes I lightly punch my friends in the balls to thank them for being vulnerable around me. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago sometimes I rub their butts and tongue their balls to remind them that someone cares. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago sometimes I rub their butts and tongue their balls to remind them that someone cares. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Kangae_Hishiryo@scribe.disroot.org 5 points 2 days ago As a men with almost a bromance with his best friend... Frrrrrr. Like, let's not even go as far as a hug (for many it's simply uncomfortable, whether it's with a man or a woman; I only hug my mother and my sister, for example xd), but there are other forms of intimacy and emotional support that shouldn't be tied to gender. I mean, words of affirmation, the simple act of crying openly or expressing fears, anxieties, feelings or emotions, or expressing love or affection (platonically, as many mistakenly associate an "I love you" with something exclusive to romantic relationships); even just staying near to each other or hanging out with each other is a huge help. Romanticism is something overrated and the same goes for sex, and I say this as someone who is alloromantic and allosexual. And of course, they're for sure a genuine and legitimate, and overall valid way of social and emotional interaction and intimacy, but not the only one or the best one for everyone. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] village604@adultswim.fan 26 points 2 days ago (1 child) Having a ton of sex doesn't equal not lonely either. Like Barney from HIMYM, or Charlie Sheen in 2.5 men. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago (1 child) I think you can generally assume that men who have a ton of sex, aside from for hire, know and interact with a lot of people. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 point 6 hours ago* That doesn't equal not lonely. Much of the time it's a mask hiding how lonely they are. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] Zeppo@sh.itjust.works 1 point 7 hours ago (1 child) I think you can generally assume that men who have a ton of sex, aside from for hire, know and interact with a lot of people. permalink fedilink source parent hideshow 2 child comments replies: [–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 point 6 hours ago* That doesn't equal not lonely. Much of the time it's a mask hiding how lonely they are. permalink fedilink source parent
[–] village604@adultswim.fan 1 point 6 hours ago* That doesn't equal not lonely. Much of the time it's a mask hiding how lonely they are. permalink fedilink source parent