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Loving and supportive boyfriend (thelemmy.club)
submitted 3 weeks ago by to c/transmemes@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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My bf has actually done each of these at least once 😆
Omfg I love him so much 😭🩷

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[–] 12 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (9 children)

Omfg I wish. 23, Barely 3 months into estrogen... Only maybe a month into deutasteride... And well I don't exactly pass. At least YET... I think I can one day I can but am really really uncertain about now or how. I don't see "passing" as a requirement but when it FEELS possible... Well... Yknow... Hard to get my mind off of. I get those looks in my redneck-ass hometown if you get my meaning, but I still feel like I'm just passing as "gay"... I reaaaally don't know where I'm at and am... Ugh. Def somewhere between " gay" and just "emo" I think? Hard to tell alone.

Okay, tbh idk. If anyone active in this community is willing to DM and help or someone know what/where is a good place I should post, it's much appreciated - been lurking for years now - y'all are the most welcoming community ever, and have me hopeful enough I've switched my lemmy instance... Feeling like this might be opportune time?

Note: this post (comment... I'm so sorry...) probably looks a lot more spiral-ey than intended upon rereading it... Sending it as is because I still honestly have no idea how to word this better... Thanks to anyone who tolerates this, you're the best, really. Might delete soon for sake of others if I'm a total idiot... May have a bit of truth serum flowing through me rn if you catch my drift...

Edit: ......yes... "Truth serum" is alcohol. And uh... Definitely too much last night. Apologies for the vent.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Girl, slow down. You're only 3 months in. You probably get this a lot, but that's practically the beginning of your journey! Puberty takes time, even the second time around.
    I don't know what you look like, but I think you have a great chance at passing. Starting at 23 is quite early.

    You're not a total idiot. Please be nicer to yourself <3

    Out of curiosity, I have a couple of questions that you don't need to answer, but I'll try anyway:

    1. What is your HRT regimen?
    2. Dutasteride is not a T blocker, it's a DHT blocker. Are you taking an anti-androgen or are you on monotherapy?
    3. How are the effects treating you?
    4. By "truth serum" do you mean alcohol? If so, do you drink a lot? I'm not judging, but...please don't, it's bad.
    5. Do you have a supportive person to talk to? If not, do you have Matrix, by any chance?

    Sorry for all the questions...
    Wishing you the best, girlie. I believe in you 💜

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    AHHHH, I'm so sorry. Thank you though. As I'm aware, puberty lasts around 10 years and yeah... I'm definitely impatient about it sometimes. In all honesty I do think I have a decent chance at passing - its just that friends don't really know like... Anything about this stuff... I'm one of the only trans people they know at all, if they know any, and even if they do I'm the one they're closer to so in the one who gets fielded questions I don't always have answers to despite really wanting them if that makes sense. I really appreciate your kindness.

    1. 1.5mls SubQ weekly and one 0.5MG pill of dutasteride per night.
    2. Whatsawhawha?
    3. I've noticed very little since starting estrogen. Body mass redistribution is noticeable in my figure. I grew boobs pretty fast, but that slowed quick too and I am ultimately still pretty flat. Noticeable decrease in muscle mass. Body hair slightly thinner. The world appears visually more saturated... Can't tell if that's placebo, but it never went away and was pretty instant.
    4. Yes, truth serum is alcohol, and I don't tend to drink often but sometimes when I do I can overdo it which is a problem, yeaaah. Trying to be better any time I do, and have been successful generally. I appreciate the concern but no need to worry.
    5. Super hard to tell. Yes and no? Everyone in my life is suuuuper busy, and I usually get to talk to any one person once a week or so. Those that aren't are the sort that are supportive, kind, and willing to learn, but don't know much and so I can't really go to in any sense other than occassional vent-space. I don't like venting to people too much either, which ultimately leads to bottling up and then... Well... The occasional vent anyways... Which I like even less. I do have matrix, and would absolutely appreciate any extra support I'd you're willing to give any.

    Also, don't worry about asking questions, I'm a pretty open book and you're offering support. Thank you. <3

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 3 weeks ago

    As I’m aware, puberty lasts around 10 years and yeah…

    Yeah, I heard...
    I'll be 30 by then 😭
    Jeez...

    so in the one who gets fielded questions I don’t always have answers to despite really wanting them if that makes sense

    No, that makes perfects sense actually. I went from:
    "What's an ester?" OwO
    to
    "Ah yes, undecylate. You could do once a month, but the difference between peak and trough might be too much...I'd do every two weeks."
    and
    "18G needle to inject?? Girl, you're gonna have holes in your thighs for days" 😭

    It might sounds dumb, but I can almost promise you that you'll learn way more about this stuff, without even really trying...

    1. It's good that you're doing SubQ! More convenient and less painful. But 1.5ml doesn't really tell me anything, sorry...I'd need the concentration and ideally the ester to draw any worthwhile conclusions.
    2. Usually, HRT consists of estrogen and also an anti-androgen (T blocker). It helps get your T levels suppressed into cis female ranges. In the US, spironolactone (weaker, diuretic) is used. I'm in Europe, so we use cyproterone acetate here (very strong, bad for your liver, also long term risk of brain tumors... :3). If you're on injections, assuming your levels are good, you can usually skip an anti-androgen. Enough E in your system will block T production by itself.
      Also...duta is a DHT blocker. DHT is made from T, makes dark (terminal) hair grow and causes male pattern baldness. If you have no T (need a blood test for that...), you should have no DHT. Is there a specific reason for the dutasteride?
    3. Sounds like good stuff is happening to you! Happy for you girlie 🩷. You're still in the beginning, and the really big changes (fat distribution, face) take a loooooong time. Just hang in there!
    4. I trust you...just be careful, please? You're not destroying your liver with cypro and drinking on top of that, so there's that at least...
    5. Oh, girlie...🫂
      I'm sorry to hear that. Venting is really important, even more so in the beginning...having people to talk to is super important for your mental health and overall wellbeing.

    Matrix ID@anxious_miisha:chat.blahaj.zone
    I'm here if you need anything. Best of luck, girlie 🩷. I'm rooting for you

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  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago

    by 1.5ml subcutaneous injections, i assume you're referring to either estradiol valerate or enanthate at a concentration of either 40 or 50mg/mL? if so, you're doing monotherapy - that is a high enough dose that it'll almost certainly be enough to suppress your body's testosterone production, and even if the exact dosage may need to be tuned a bit (depending on what your blood work results say) that high of a dose is clearly intended to work without requiring an antiandrogen.

    dutasteride may not be a proper antiandrogen, but blocking DHT (dihydrotestosterone) can be useful for combatting the effects of male pattern baldness. now, since estrogen monotherapy will lower your ordinary testosterone levels by approximately an order of magnitude, your DHT levels should drop by about the same amount (since DHT is primarily produced via conversion from ordinary testosterone). this should be more than enough to avoid going bald since ideally your DHT levels will end up at about the same level as a cis woman (and may even be enough to revert some hair loss - i have two little patches of baby hairs on either side of my widow's peak which started showing up around february!), but if you've already lost a decent amount of hair then taking a DHT blocker could be helpful on top of that to increase the likelihood of some hair growing back.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (3 children)

    hey i properly started HRT pretty close to my 23rd birthday! it just takes time. i didn't look visibly different at all (aside from my increasing long hair) until maybe 5 or 6 months in, and the changes i've noticed since are still coming along very slowly. of course you don't pass after 3 months; you've barely even started! give it a year and you'll be surprised by how different stuff looks.

    EDIT: if you do wanna chat, feel free to msg me on lemmy or matrix (see my bio) :3

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  • [–] 2 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    I started on my 23rd! Thank you for the kind words. Yeah, the "give it a year" thing is what I keep telling myself. Paranoia and impatience have me in an occasional spiral like the above... Sorry about that. Trying to workaround it best I can in the meantime by learning better fashion, but I gotta say I don't think everything I'm trying is working and I definitely don't have funds to throw at a wall figuring it out right now. I'm lost.

    I'd love to chat! <3

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  • [–] 1 point 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

    spiraling is fine, we all do it <3

    and i totally get you on the fashion stuff! figuring out what looks good takes a lot of time and effort and practice, especially when you haven't ever really thought about it before. to be honest with you i've really fallen back to my old "wardrobe" (cargo shorts + whatever graphic tee is on top of the pile) the last few weeks. i don't necessarily mind, but i want to keep trying more stuff. should really swing by the thrift store and see if i can find something to get inspired again...

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