Yes, walking with fishnets at 2AM is a bad idea, for multiple reasons.
But the one reason in particular that stopped me WAS THE COLD WIND 😭.

Not only does my hair get messed up instantly, but also...I'm barely wearing clothes. The fishermen are starving and I'm freezing to death, lol.

I need your honest opinions on this outfit...
In my opinion, it isn't too flattering, particularly the top. But anyway, it consists of this:

• The fishnets, my bf bought for me quite a while ago. I do like fishnets, however they make me look...like I'm meeting up with a paying client (in my very vulgar opinion)
• The skirt is one I got at the mall, at a store called Cropp. There was only one left, and it's a size S, so I was sure it wouldn't fit.
  But somehow, through the power of sheer transfem witchcraft, it sits comfortably on my waist and is stopped from falling by my hips. Neat!
• The top is one I got from Vinted (of course 😆). It was surprisingly cheap and I liked the style. The material is alright, the size is...interesting, and it even has a little chain that makes it look like I'm wearing a necklace!
  The downside is, I can't wear a bra underneath, because it just looks really bad, so my boobs and nipples just stick straight out. I don't mind that too much tbh.
  Also, I think the size is wrong...sometimes it hides my belly, sometimes it shows my belly. And also...is this meant to be worn with a skirt? It doesn't really look like it...
• The choker is also Vinted, not much to say there. I love chokers!
• Aaaand, lastly I have some makeup on, which isn't clothing, but it probably belongs in this list too 😆. I'm not good at makeup, at all, so it's really simple: primer, foundation, concealer, finishing powder (essential!!!), a little bit of blush, mascara and a subtle but volumizing lipstick.
  I don't think I did too badly, but there is so much room for improvement, oh my god...

I'm really disappointed I didn't get to go out. I'll try again tomorrow, it's no big deal, it's just...I spent lots of time getting ready and I was really looking forward to it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day 🙂.

P.S: Also, how do I keep posting elevator posts on injection day?? It's not on purpose. You probably can't tell, but there's a band-aid on my right thigh 😂.

Mods, please forgive me 😭
I posted breast timeline without realizing NSFW pictures are not allowed in thid community. I'm really sorry.

For anyone who wishes to see the post, it's on Trans Joy.
Here's a link:
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/46535721

Once again, I'm really sorry for being a dumbass. It's all my fault 😭

Edit: Why do my posts keep getting duplicated when I post them? What's happening? Did I break Lemmy?

Mods, please forgive me 😭
I posted breast timeline without realizing NSFW pictures are not allowed in thid community. I'm really sorry.

For anyone who wishes to see the post, it's on Trans Joy.
Here's a link:
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/46535721

Once again, I'm really sorry for being a dumbass. It's all my fault 😭

Yes, funny meme, I know...

This will be a small timeline documenting my breast growth. I'm 6 months on HRT tomorrow, so let's just say 6 months of HRT 😆. I don't think the boob fairy will visit me tonight.

I would like this to be an informative post for other girls. Breast growth is extremely individual, and the main factors are genetics and individual response to HRT. Of course, also good levels are important.

Casual comments are fine, please don't sexualize my body too much...
I'll definitely let you know when you've gone too far.

Warning: this timeline kinda sucks, is inconsistent and the photos are all bad...
But, without further ado, here are some pictures of my still-growing chest...

-4 months HRT

This is even before HRT. I wanted to include this, so that you can see how flat a person's chest can really be. Nothing to see here, flat as can be, no boobs in sight!

1 month 3 days HRT

Nope! Still flat. Nothing there.
(please pardon my horrible ribcage 😭 I used to starve myself pre-HRT, I'm a healthy weight now)

1 month 3 weeks HRT

Huh...something's happening! Barely noticeable, but seems like my nipples are bigger...

2 months 2 days HRT

Okay, I will admit. These were originally nudes I sent my bf while he was at work 😂. Sorry love. Research is important ❤️
Not much happening here, but me holding my hands up changes things. Wide shoulders, wide ribcage, boobs spread apart, look smaller...you get it.

Aaaaaaand, I need to admit something. After seeing the slow progress...I kinda gave up. That's why there is such a big gap between the last photos and the next ones. Please forgive me, it was dumb of me 😭

4 months 1 week HRT

At this point, my bf said I have valid boobs 😂. Which, you know, I agree with him. At this point, at least to myself, my breast were "cuppable" in my hands and it just felt...good to have breasts 😊

5 months 1 week HRT

Only one picture here, but you get it. BOOBS

6 months HRT...

This is now. These are my boobs right now.
They're small. They're easties-westies. And they're far apart from each other. I don't care at all. They're mine. I love them and I'm so happy I started this journey.

They may look smaller now than before, due to the angle. They are small. But I simply don't care. I love my boobs. And so does my bf 😄

Well, thanks for reading my boob-journey. It's been fun. Going from "nothing is happening" to "Huh?" to "Booba??". I'm enjoying myself. This isn't the end. I can't wait for them to mature more and more...

Love your bodies girls. They're beautiful. You're beautiful (and cute!). Love you all. See you 💜

Edit: Something weird happened to this post... As I was posting it, there was an error and there is now a duplicate post on my profile. I've deleted the duplicate. Please let this post work normally 🙏

Edit2: Mods, I am so sorry. I'm such a dumbass 😭 This has been reposted to Trans Joy, I'll delete this post myself. Sorry again...

This post is a duplicate, for some reason.

Today was like the polar opposite of yesterday, istg.

Started out not so great, with very unrestful sleep. I woke up in the morning and I was DEAD. Didn't even try to get up for another hour. My bf cuddled with me, which was really sweet tho.

After waking up and having breakfast, I did my E shot, as I do every three days. Hurt more than usual today for some reason, but I'll still get my levels.

And, at around noon, I went to the bathroom. Without getting into it too much, I need lots of preparation for fun times with my bf, because I am, unfortunately, still pre-op 😔. Also I'm a massive clean freak.
Today was not my day. I spent literally 5+ hours in there, fortunately I was successful in the end.

I really needed to clear my head after that. I decided to go for a walk. So, I got dressed, made sure to take care of my hair, put on some nice deodorant and went for a short stroll. Alone, without my bf, and, for the first time, not boymoding.

It was a little late, but not that dark. There were still plenty of people outside. Some passed by me really close. But, for the first time...I felt like I could breathe in public freely? My anxiety was almost completely gone (that might have been because of my terrible habit, kratom, of which I had a teaspoon before leaving).

I felt good about myself for once. Honestly, I really did. People passed me by. Men, women, couples...they didn't give me any strange looks. They actually didn't pay me much attention at all. It surprised me in the best way. It was almost like...I was a completely ordinary city girl?
I honestly couldn't believe it.

And so, because I was having a good time, I took a longer route. Literally for the first time in my life, I didn't rush anywhere. I wasn't walking super quickly, out of breath, desperate to get away from all the people. I was walking slowly, with more confidence than usual, calm with every step I took. I let my hips sway freely while walking. I didn't care what anyone thought. I felt good outside. I was enjoying being in public.

When I got home, I told my bf. He was proud of me: with my anxiety, I barely ever leave the house and I still boymode. He hugged me tight and we started making out. We "celebrated" in our own special way...

Then we had dinner together and cuddled some more.
Today really was the opposite of yesterday. It started quite badly, but ended in the best way possible.
It really did feel like I just lived a day in the life of an ordinary city girl. And I absolutely loved it.

Girls, there is hope. There is happiness in life. I didn't believe it, but I'm slowly starting to. Don't lose hope and never stop being yourselves. I love you all, keep being your awesome selves 🩷

This is pure evil 😭

So, yesterday, after my absolutely terrible experience at my cousin's birthday party, I somehow got home safely (thank god 😭).
I decided to wear the very same outfit my family rejected and take a quick walk, to clear my head a little. It was already really late and dark, but I decided to go anyway...

At least until I actually got outside 😆

It was so fucking cold! And I was something that barely even covered my skin, no wonder I was cold! Also, I swear to god HRT made my body colder (or at least not as cold-resistant) and somehow...even more pale 🤣. I'm basically a ghost now, lol.
(Also, I was scared going outside by myself that late. I am sooo freaking weak now. My bf overpowers me with one hand, easily 🫦)

Anyway, as I was quickly walking back to my apartment building, one of the automated lights mounted on the wall turned on. This caused a shadow to be cast on the wall in front of me, and the shadow was...a girl's shadow?

Was she right behind me? Was she next to me, I just didn't notice? She was really skinny and had shoulders a bit broad, but she was nice. I actually got envious of her body...

I was staring at my own shadow on the wall 🤦‍♀️. It took me way too long to realize that and I felt really stupid afterwards. But also euphoric! You see, all of my boymoding clothes are at least slightly baggy. They hide the shape of my figure. These clothes on the other hand, they expose most of my long legs and also show the actual shape of my upper body. And goddamn do these jorts make my ass and hips look girly, in the best way 😆. I looked...good?

This was a massive confidence boost for me, tbh. I kept giggling like a schoolgirl in the elevator 😂. You know, for the first time in my life, I actually felt that I might kinda pass...one day, at least. I felt good about myself!

All of this to say, fuck my pretentiously supportive family. I don't need their stupid validation. I have my own life now, my own apartment (with my very own man who loves me dearly 🤭). Next time, I'm probably not even going to attend any of their parties. And if I do, I'll wear what I want. They can stare, they can whisper, fuck 'em. They are my family, I still do love them, but I don't have to center my life around them.

Thank you everyone for your kind words 💜. It's crazy how kind everyone here is...I don't even deserve that 😭. Thank you so much. I love you people ❤️

Aaaand now I'm going to go celebrate with my bf, in my own way, in bed. Until next time!

Kinda unrelated, but the difference between my last ID photo and my current one is actually hilarious.
Also, the gender marker changed 😂

And I love you all 🩷
In a completely platonic, non-sapphic way because I'm into men. Sorry girls 😭

Today didn't go according to plan. To be honest, today was probably my worst day in quite a while. Lots of disappointment and lots of crying. Lots of bad thoughts.
I'm still here. Thankfully I did not hurt myself. I did cry the most I've cried in a long time. Don't know if you can see in the photo, but I have almost like rashes under my eyes from rubbing away way too many tears. God I look bad up close tho 😂

Thank you everyone for your concern. Even though today really sucked, your kind words helped me feel much better. They warmed my heart and showed me that at least, I'm not completely alone in this world.
I'm still on my HRT journey, hoping that one day, I'll feel better about all of myself. One day, I'll look into the mirror and actually see a girl there. One day, I'll take a quick selfie and actually admire it.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you guys, gals and nonbinary pals. You're all awesome 🩷

Wish me luck! I'm about 10bpm away from a heart attack 😭

Edit: After removing my hoodie and revealing my top, my mother gave me the dirtiest look I've ever received from her. She complimented my jorts and belt, that was it. This sent me into a really bad dysphoric spiral. Grandma keeps misgendering me. Everyone treating me like a person feels forced. Currently crying in the bathroom. I want to die

Edit2: Mom was talking to me, asking me why I was sad. I told her, that I could never really afford the surgeries I need to pass, truly pass. She said how people get those and look funny in their 50s. She doesn't even understand what FFS is. She told me I was a normal, pretty, young girl which should have made me feel better, but just felt forced and fake.
She told me that most trans people have 0 family support while I have full support, which is true. I just sit and whine while others have it way worse. I'm such a shitty person.
She told me I have all day every day to focus on myself, so I should get a job and distract myself. Not like I haven't been trying. With my anxiety, even going to the store is a challenge. Leaving the house is a challenge. I don't know how I'd manage a job.
All in all, today sucked extremely. I'm crying in the bathroom, again, but this time I cut my arm with a pair of scissors. I hate myself. I'm leaving the party now, and I'll probably just end it when I get back. I'm such a useless existence. I want out of this world. Sorry everyone, for everything.