Without going through steps 1 and 2 it's impossible to get to steps 3, 4, and 5 without feeling gaslit and invalidated just like you always were growing up, which can rehash and reinforce the trauma, perpetuating the cycle.

That's what society in general, and people who had healthy parents, don't understand. They want us all to skip to the end of the process, ignoring the fact that not everyone was so fortunate to be raised by emotionally intelligent people.

A very basic understanding of developmental psychology is all it takes to see how significantly the influences of one's formative years can impact their social and emotional development long into adulthood.

I just wanted to add that it's still incredibly painful after these steps, therapy ain't over then. Still worth it though. Be kind to your inner child, especially if they're still crying inside.

I think you can kind of fork this path:

• blame parents
• realise they did what they thought was best
• still be messed up
• wallow in misery continually making the same mistakes every day
• accept your mediocrity

I thought we all just don't do the forgiving ourselves thing. And avoid the mirror so you don't have to kick that guy's ass for looking at you like id look at me

Continuing to fail is on you, though.