Going behind your back is a massive red flag, but only you can know if it's a problem that can be addressed or one sign among many that she can't be trusted. The typical Internet answer is to just go immediately to a maximalist position but I agree with the couples counselor option if that's possible, just keep your mind open that maybe she just needs help, while also being ready to break it off to protect yourself if it looks like she can't or won't actually put in effort on her end.
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