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this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2026
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A Boring Dystopia
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I’m reading “Fight Right” (by some of the preeminent relationship researchers of our time) and they spend some time discussing an “AI” analysis tool that watches videos of couples interacting for micro expressions, emotional state, and other indicators, which are labeled and summarized for therapists to use as a diagnostic tool.
I’ve kind of wished for a non-creepy version of something like that. Something to tell me I’m spiraling, talking too much about nothing important, or letting fear or anger win in my interactions.
This — is not that. It’s just an “AI” agent that acts as a third wheel in your relationship, and seemingly, could just by replaced if the couples started using calendars and sock puppets to talk to each other. (Not fake online accounts, but actual pretend sentient beings on their hands to depersonalize the interaction and make it feel safer.)
Also people need to understand that reading microexpressions is like using a polygraph aka 'lie detector' where there are common reasons for reactions but not everyone reacts to everything the same and one behavior or reaction doesn't always mean the same cause.
Like it could be a great tool to help those who agree with how it is working, but since it will be developed by someone who reads way too much into microexpressions I expect every single implementation to feel like gaslighting for someone like me who understands myself.
The ai bullshit in the article sounds even worse!
The best piece of social advice my dad ever gave me was to not read into people's facial expressions too much. You never know what's going on in someone else's life and it might not have anything to do with you, even if you know them well.
That is great advice and it might even be environmental too!
Crossing arms can be standoffish or just someone being cold. A pained look could be about the interaction or just regular old pain.
Not to mention people have a range of behaviors involving the amount of eye contact and physical space, and they aren't always consistent!
You don't need AI to be in touch with your own body. Meditation is much easier to implement and works much better.
Sure. And I think that’s fine advice for most folks, but not everyone knows how to connect with their feelings, or is able to on demand. One example would be people who respond to conflict with the fawn response.