the corrosion of two personalty that reshape each other until they're incompatible, I guess. but also a lot of dysfunction. I got so good at being a grey rock in the face of their exciting need to be excited by constantly fighting that they got bored of trying to get a reaction out of me and I got tired of the panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Anyway, separation has been nice, but having kids means you're locked into a kind of relationship that necessitates mutual good faith cooperation so it's a nightmare. REALLY don't have kids with people you haven't lived with first for several years. 6mo whirlwind relationships are a bad place to invest the next 20+ years of your life, also, you can't out run, out think, or recognize your truama, you are you, and you can't not you. therapy early and often.