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Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@piefed.ca to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that the military is at its “absolute best” by personally checking the erection strength of all servicemen over the age of thirty, according to confused sources within the Pentagon.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

nonsense. only the tongue is sensitive enough for these types of measurements.

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