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Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@piefed.ca to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that the military is at its “absolute best” by personally checking the erection strength of all servicemen over the age of thirty, according to confused sources within the Pentagon.

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[–] Grimy@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 child)

"I can tell a man's testosterone level by the feel and texture of his balls. Takes a few seconds of fondling but it works!"

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