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Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier (thehardtimes.net)

submitted 1 month ago by ZeroCool@piefed.ca to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that the military is at its “absolute best” by personally checking the erection strength of all servicemen over the age of thirty, according to confused sources within the Pentagon.

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[–] ZombieCyborgFromOuterSpace@piefed.ca 2 points 1 month ago (1 child)

Just like how you can detect if someone has diabetes by tasting their urine. Gotta do a teste taste test.

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[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 3 points 1 month ago

well yes of course. just like you taste semen to determine testosterone levels. I mean we are all medical men here.

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