I'm really glad for the good for you and sorry for the bad. The SA stuff is difficult for me, too. The parent I mentioned still rages at their dead abusers, while not being able to acknowledge they regularly left me with their abusers for weeks at a time and got exasperated that I'd call at bedtime, in inconsolable tears, begging to come home. Decades later, I still can't recall what came after; and I don't really need to recall, anymore. I already know it was nothing good. But I can forgive that parent that because what that does to a child in their earliest years, until they married and moved out of the house, especially after losing a parent they adored to a sudden death -- that ain't nothin good, either, and psychotherapy back then was not only stigmatized, but more out of reach for the dirt poor, as well. And that's why parents did that, especially when there weren't opportunities for women "past their prime," with four or five hungry mouths to feed. Babies' mouths.