Who do you think is making all these creaks and moans? You think a house just settles on its own?

I was working construction one winter and living in a house with four other guys. One of the roommates, without asking the rest of us, invited a friend of his to stay in our large walk-in closet. It was supposed to be just for a few days, but he ended up living there for months without paying any rent. One day I came home after work freezing cold and completely covered in mud, and this dude was sitting on the couch in a bathrobe watching TV. I heard the water running upstairs and asked him who was in the shower. He said "Bobby. And I'm next."

He was not next. He moved out that night.