I kinda had a similar arc before I came to my senses. Radio show, political career in D.C. churning red meat. In my case, I grew up suuuuuuper religious, got into politics, found I was really good at it, and that was intoxicating in multiple ways and I chased it in the name of "look, I'm successful, my name is out there, people respect me" until it was eventually the source of all of my value/self-worth, identity, etc... Not to mention the source of my paychecks and what my entire resume was increasingly built around. You get locked in after some point.

So maybe something like that.