Getyourheadoutofthecupboard Whatthefuckareyoudoing Don't eatthatyouidiot Idon'tneedabath

Alfie became Alfa-reenie, which turned into Reenie.

He also gets "OMG WHY" when he insists on licking my face.

"Whiny bitch" is also a common one.

Mr Woof had a bit of a compulsive face licking problem when I first got him, so I had to advise him quite frequently that "no one likes a dog who can't hold his licker". It sunk in eventually, I haven't had to use that one for years.

I give my little dog a new name every day. Today it's Princess. If he pees on the carpet it's Mr Pissy Pants for a week.

Chookchook

"Stop SCREAMING"

Just Oskar, occasionally "what's up buddy?".

Little Buddy.

Sweetheart.

For Cerys: Cerycat, ceriad, Hissy Miggins, The Tit Clawing Maniac. Sweetheart (redundant that's literally just the english translation of her name), Madame Squeaks, Shivertail.

Max: Maxibon, Maximan, maximus, M A X I M U M G E O R G E, Little Man, Boofhead,

Sam: Sammy, Sammalammadingdong, Sammywimwamwazzle, Little Buddy, Cocksucker

Oreo is otherwise known as Little Miss, Shiny Girl and Bowl Cat.

Pepper is Pepperoni, Roni, Little Cat and Spicy Cat. She has her own song about being the spiciest of all the sausage cats.

Foxy is Fluff, Fluffle, Mr Flufalufagus, Ginger Fluff Sponge or the Big Fluff.

Betsy is Betsy boo, Puppy, Puppy Wuppy, Rocket Dog or Miss Barks a lot.

None of them ever get called their proper government names.