Your family is incorrect. Been to Japan twice, the toilets are so nice, I invested in a very nice bidet when I got home after the first trip. Now I don't want to shit anywhere else.

It depends on if it's an old style (squat over the hole on the ground) or a European style one. In hotels at least, the European/American style toilets have bidets, seat heaters, some play music, etc.

The squat toilets are fine. Not fancy, but fine.

I lived in Japan and have used many different toilets there. The only problem I ever encountered was a lack of soap in some restrooms.

When were they there and where did they go? IIRC it hasn't been the norm there in a VERY long time and now the only places you see them are in very old buildings. I did some traveling there 10 years ago and didn't come across a single squat toilet

In Japan over a decade here. There are still a lot of places with squat toilets and some people suck at using any toilets and are gross. I would not be surprised about this, particularly at a drinking establishment late at night.