AskewLord comments on You have a lovely home

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 3 points 4 months ago (5 children)

amen brother.

don't worry though, tons of posters here who are leaning hard in on the misandry and hate, and think anyone who points out all this sexist bullshit just hates women. because if you ever call a lady out on her hateful ways, you just hate women.

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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 1 point 4 months ago (4 children)

Yeah, it's funny, if you say women are perfect you're called a sexist. But if you say women are flawed, you're called a sexist. Even if you point to a specific woman and say she's perfect or flawed, you're called a sexist.

I guess I just won't talk about or to women. I woulda thought that would be sexist, but apparently it's the only way to avoid being called sexist.

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[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 1 point 4 months ago (3 children)

haha, yeah this is why a lot of people are just giving up on dating game. you can't win. everything you do is wrong.

buy her flowers and hold the door on a date ? that's sexist! don't buy her flowers and don't hold the door, that's sexist! so on and so on. a lot of folks are just... actively looking to be miserable and unhappy, rather than just set reasonable boundaries and expectations of what they want from the opposite sex.

in 2026, I'm supposed to support my potential partners by respecting their independent and strength, but also I'm suppose to be their provider and protector... and I'm supposed to be able to randomly switch roles at the drop of a pin based on how she is feeling at that very moment. and if i do not, I'm a horrible no good shitty man who doesn't make her feel cared for, or I'm a horrible sexist asshole who doesn't respect her independence and strength...

oh, by the way, if you explain how ridiculous this whole thing is to someone who expects it, they either call you a misogyny, or they just tell you how you 'are not a real man'.

just like... why bother? pick one, or the other... or how about neither? just chill out and enjoy life and stop agonizing about everything! god forbid men and women just enjoy each other's companionship without the endless need to measure every aspect of each other.

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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz -1 points 4 months ago (2 children)

Yeah, I feel you. Especially the part about switching roles based on jow she's feeling at the moment.

And she doesn't even need to communicate how she's feeling or what she expects from you, but if you expect her to communicate that then you're entitled and a misogynist! And if you don't read her mind and act accordingly then you're either "not a real man" or you're a misogynist.

It's like, yeah... I'd like to have a partner and enjoy some companionship. But if this is the way things are going to be, well, my cat is far less confusing...

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[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 1 point 4 months ago* (1 child)

i have know plenty of women in long term happy stable relationships.

none of them are like that. they tell their husband/boyfriend what they want/need. and he gives it to them. and they are both happy. and he does the same with her. they also set... ground rules for the relationship and follow them.

it's almost as if they see each other as reasonable people and act like reasonable people... and they are happy with that.

and the ladies who do the opposite, tell you that these happy ladies are all lairs and miserable and etc, or they just 'got lucky' and found husbands are just wonderful and perfect and flawless. shit's wild, but the key factor is these women think they are not responsible for their themselves, that's a man's job to do for her.

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[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz -1 points 4 months ago

Yeah, there's a lot of stigma against single guys. Men in relationships are "approved by women" (and also, ironically, men who sleep around get this stamp of approval too).

Anyone else gets dismissed a priori as "man, therefore dangerous" and categorized as such, creating a vicious cycle that's nearly impossible to break out of unless you're lucky enough to find a partner.

Women in healthy relationships might have healthier views of men, because they have an example of a man who isn't shit. Single women tend not to have the same perspective though, and after sleeping around and getting used and hurt (because it's liberating and empowering, but when it blows up in her face it's the man's fault, or rather "men's fault" in general, and the next guy she meets is going to take the blame just as hard if not harder than the man who actually abused her. Yet if a guy says "maybe don't give your body to abusive men," he gets called a 'nice guy' disparagingly, and an incel, because "women can make their own choices." Like, yeah, they can, but why act surprised when those choices have predictable consequences?)

So it's like people in relationships today were all raptured out of the dating pool before the apocalypse struck (around covid). I see so often people saying how grateful they are to not have to worry about modern dating. And the dread that people have after a divorce when they need to re-enter the dating scene in this crap.

But people will also gaslight you and say there's nothing wrong with modern dating, and that you must be the problem, totally ignoring the millions of people who are having the same experience. It takes a certain level of privilege to be able to ignore it.

Oh, but when women have issues dating, then it's a different story. Then it's just because men are terrible and that makes the dating scene terrible. No other possible explanations, end of discussion. Yet when men have issues dating, then suddenly "there's nothing wrong with modern dating! You're just a misogynist who feels entitled to women's bodies!"

Like, that's a really big leap from "Man, I wish I could find someone to love and spend time with." All they hear though is "Man, I wish I had a woman to own and treat like property."

It's just like "There is no gender war in Ba Sing Se" whenever a man talks about endemic misandry. But then suddenly "Ugh, I hate this stupid gender war" every time someone mentions misogyny. So there's both a gender war and no gender war, depending on who's expressing their grievances. Like trump bombing Iran during a ceasefire and then accusing them of endangering the ceasefire when they retaliate...

I'm so sick of the gaslighting. Yeah, it's just so much easier to not talk to women. They exist in their own world, at this point, and I'm neither welcome in it nor welcome to invite them into mine.

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