Yeah, there's a lot of stigma against single guys. Men in relationships are "approved by women" (and also, ironically, men who sleep around get this stamp of approval too).

Anyone else gets dismissed a priori as "man, therefore dangerous" and categorized as such, creating a vicious cycle that's nearly impossible to break out of unless you're lucky enough to find a partner.

Women in healthy relationships might have healthier views of men, because they have an example of a man who isn't shit. Single women tend not to have the same perspective though, and after sleeping around and getting used and hurt (because it's liberating and empowering, but when it blows up in her face it's the man's fault, or rather "men's fault" in general, and the next guy she meets is going to take the blame just as hard if not harder than the man who actually abused her. Yet if a guy says "maybe don't give your body to abusive men," he gets called a 'nice guy' disparagingly, and an incel, because "women can make their own choices." Like, yeah, they can, but why act surprised when those choices have predictable consequences?)

So it's like people in relationships today were all raptured out of the dating pool before the apocalypse struck (around covid). I see so often people saying how grateful they are to not have to worry about modern dating. And the dread that people have after a divorce when they need to re-enter the dating scene in this crap.

But people will also gaslight you and say there's nothing wrong with modern dating, and that you must be the problem, totally ignoring the millions of people who are having the same experience. It takes a certain level of privilege to be able to ignore it.

Oh, but when women have issues dating, then it's a different story. Then it's just because men are terrible and that makes the dating scene terrible. No other possible explanations, end of discussion. Yet when men have issues dating, then suddenly "there's nothing wrong with modern dating! You're just a misogynist who feels entitled to women's bodies!"

Like, that's a really big leap from "Man, I wish I could find someone to love and spend time with." All they hear though is "Man, I wish I had a woman to own and treat like property."

It's just like "There is no gender war in Ba Sing Se" whenever a man talks about endemic misandry. But then suddenly "Ugh, I hate this stupid gender war" every time someone mentions misogyny. So there's both a gender war and no gender war, depending on who's expressing their grievances. Like trump bombing Iran during a ceasefire and then accusing them of endangering the ceasefire when they retaliate...

I'm so sick of the gaslighting. Yeah, it's just so much easier to not talk to women. They exist in their own world, at this point, and I'm neither welcome in it nor welcome to invite them into mine.