i was thinking a toggle, like how slay the spire 2 has an option to always show the timer. people with an audience might want every death to show the number, others might want it on the inventory screen or along the bottom like some arcade games did with fruit for streaks.

I can totally understand that, not wanting to have the death counter loom over the playthrough.

I personally don't mind having the counter(s) hidden in a submenu. What I really like about Fromsoft games is that when you start the game, you don't have to look at your playtime. I don't want to have the feeling that I'm "too slow" even though I like playing that way; human psychology is weird. Or I don't want to constantly look at the playtime of my max new game save file and see just how many hours of my life I've ~~wasted~~ enjoyed this game.

As for locations where you can access such hypothetical death counters? In Elden Ring, the small Marika statue in Roundtable Hold would be a nice location to access it. This statue is already intractable for the Colosseum, and lore-wise also a nice location.

In Bloodborne, a location for a death counter would be the gravestone where you would be "buried" if you choose the Yharnam Sunrise ending. That is a very fitting location, lore-wise.

For other games? In DS2 and DS3, maybe with the Herald/Firekeeper? Maybe in DS1 also with the Firekeeper(s)?