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me_irl (thelemmy.club)
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[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yes, exactly. You've got it at the end.

Tons of people use 'Maybe' to mean 'Yes but later.'

And then there are also people like you, who would genuienly be fine either way.

These are two very different things, mashed all together.

Beyond me being just actually certain I don't want kids...

The problem is that it is a useless category.

It throws people like you, are honest with themselves that they really have no preference... into the same category of people who do want want kids.

There's an option for that. It's 'Wants Kids'.

The timeframe is a modifier of that.

But people either don't know how grammar works, or are kind of lying to themselves, and then thus others, in describing themselves as 'Maybe'.

No, no, those people are certain they want kids, they're just not directly telling you that, in their profile selection.


It really wouldn't be that hard to make a different set of answers to that question.

Literally just 'Yes - Soon' 'Yes - Someday' 'No Preference' and 'No'.

But untill that is done... consider my possible strategies.

1 - Filter down to 'Not Want Kids'

2 - Include 'Maybe Want Kids' and have to actually broach the topic. I'm sure that'll always go great.

Strategy 2 is a waste of my time, as I'm perfectly fine just not having a permanent partner.

So then people like you get filtered by people like me, because the entire system is stupid.

[-] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 1 points 1 day ago

So then people like you get filtered by people like me, because the entire system is stupid.

I mean, hey, I'm right here ;)

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 day ago

a/s/l lol?

I'm guessing that as we both use =D over ๐Ÿ˜ƒ this probably indicates we're roughly the same age...

Hrm.

We at least appear to have fairly similar interests and tastes... for example, here's my take on the fever dream original end of evangelion:

the takeIts primarily a gigantic 4th wall break, it isn't really supposed to 'make sense', in universe.

Shinji is the hikikomori viewer and also basically the writer, pleading with the viewer / 'realizing' that life is totally full of bullshit, but basically everyone is full of bullshit, and it is better to accept your flaws, your pain, your failures, it is better to go out and try to have experiences and live a life, than it is to become a black hole of self pity and rob yourself of that.

The point of the end is to just literally tell the viewer to go actually touch grass, or maybe another actual person... to stop being obsessed with these characters, this story, and go live your own story.

It is thus insanely ironic that this story, that very much resonated (and still resonates) with a whole lot of basically socially rejected nerds... has been remade something like 2 and half times now, due to overwhelming popular demand, where the ending is different.

The original actual point has been subverted by something like a combination of the pressures of capitalism on both the writer and the viewers, and basically the overwhelming insecurity of the hiki nerds who cannot let go of this story and these characters.

... but uh, that's a lot of unprompted blabbing on my part, so maybe... what does an ideal weekend look like for you?

Do you have a favorite kind of tea or coffee or other drink?

Sorry, I've been crippled for a while, and though I am physically recovering, my social skills have definitely degraded, hah!

[-] NannerBanner@literature.cafe 2 points 19 hours ago

I'm really old school, unfortunately, which means that I try everything in my power to not overshare details that could lead back to me. I'm about to make this a burned account, and only come back for the tuesday posts to the little community I want to see flourish.

That's an interesting take on the evangelion ending. I generally avoid media that does fourth wall breaks unless it's strictly a comedic thing in a comedic story. Maybe that's why I just didn't get it. I generally even roll my eyes at the unreliable narrator framing, if it's from an 'out of character' type of narrator. Obviously a character isn't going to have all-the-knowledge, so it's not like they can be reliable in every sense, but if the entire book is framed as being from an unreliable narrator, then it just gets ridiculous, like a movie where the horror monster can make characters (and the audience) be completely tricked (so not just like an illusion, but where they've been standing staring at a wall thinking they've lived an entire life or something).

I don't think I have an ideal weekend. I've got so many balls in the air that I couldn't get it all in with a month of weekends. I'd want one that's inside, with a new (to one or both or all of us) media and hot chocolate or sweet iced tea and delicious snacks and warm blankets and soft murmurs, while outside the forest is softly blanketed in a chilly mist while the drizzling rain patters on leaves, or the view of the beach at sunset lasts eternal so when we get up to refill the drinks we look out and see a rainbow of reds and oranges setting the silhouettes of trees blazing black against the sky's fire. Or a weekend that ends at a peak or overlook with a chill breeze against flushed flesh, and the brilliant calls of loud songbirds below us in little hidden coves in the rock's face, and nowhere to go and nothing pressing to do but watch the distant river's whitecapped flow in the rapids. Or a lazy cruise in the small sailboat with a pirate flag for a sail (I love my sail, and it was the best silly purchase I've ever made) on the bay, and all that needs doing is finding a little sandy beach to pull up on and have a little bonfire that friends are there for. Or a fantastic new world awaiting us on a screen to be explored with whatever cool vehicle the game designers gave us, OR a fantastic old world that we want to revisit! Good books; a fancy new meal that we've never tried to cook before; an activity that may be silly but is fun to try; acting out parts in a play; seeing a play; deep, romantic sessions; hours with friends on a long-term, cooperative ttrpg or board game; figuring out a problem with the residence and coming up with (and pulling off) the perfect fix for it; >.> a night out at the local food, not bombs org.;

like... gosh. So many things that I would just be happy doing. I'm a really boring average westerner though: I like my coffee in a drink that could be classified as a dessert. I like my teas super bitter (yeeessssss, let that cup sit with the tea in it until it's ice cold, and then heat it up again!!) or super sweet, and matcha is surprisingly good (I'll fight the folks who don't like the grit)!!! Matcha milk tea with the boba is the best! Slightly bitter with the slightly sweet, so good! Hot chocolate is my secret vice though. That stuff will put pounds on me like a farmer fattening up a pig for slaughter. I know the vegans are right, but culturally (and all the other typical excuses) make forgoing all meat difficult. Anyway.

I'm actually all about the colon eyes. I can't stop trying new ones just to see if people can get what I mean. The kirby dance is still classic though: (>o.o)> (^o.o^) <(o.o<) (^o.o^) (>o.o)>

[-] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 39 minutes ago* (last edited 35 minutes ago)

Hey no problem on being vague, its rare these days to see anyone excercise what we used to call 'basic common sense' on the internet.


But yeah to me... that was my immediate reaction to seeing all of Evangelion the first time.

Like it just seems so obvious to me. Yeah, the whole show itself is uh... dense, complicated, might have to rewind a few times to fully understand what is happening.

But the ending is so incredibly just... discontinuous with everything else.

Its too discontinuous for 'and then Shinji went completely insane/woke up' to be a reasonable explanation.

Its not that the whole anime is 'unreliable narrator'... its... just a total and cometely abrupt break. Normally the anime follows mostly Shinji's perspective, basically, but you have episodes and segments of episodes that follow another character.

Its kind of ballsy in a way, but its also kind of a cop out, but... it also well illustrates the point the writer was trying to make.

So its exceptional, basically.

But almost no one I've met whose seen Evangelion agrees with me. They all have some kind of in universe super complex fan theory... when at points its literally not even an anime anymore, it just cuts to actual real world footage of landscapes, with narration over it.

I can still remember it because it was so distinct, such an ass-pull of an ending.

I don't get how you can see a complete style shift, tone shift, everything, and its all directly telling you: life oftens sucks but thats just part of how life works, it also has parts that are nice... see all of that and then come away with anything other than 'oh the author is just now literally talking to the viewer'.


As to your ideal weekends... those all sound amazing to me. I've not got quite the same flair for written scenery description that you have, but I can appreciate it; you can well paint an image in a mind.

Many of those things I've done, either alone or sometimes with someone else... I remember once just actually being moved to tears by the beauty and serenity of a sunset in a temperate harbor/beachfront area.

Unfortunately the becoming crippled and then homeless and then barely surviving that with my life intact has... put a bit of damper on that lately.

But I was in a wheel chair 2 years ago, now I only need a cane, and only sometimes. 2 years ago I couldn't type this, couldn't open a bag of chips without a knife, right hand and wrist was too fucked up... thats still getting there, but, the doctor i saw not too long a go said I did a surprisingly good job at setting a makeshift splint. And I was able to open a sealed pickle jar for the first time in about 2 years last night!


I shouldn't have asked about tea and coffee, because I broke my teapot with loose leaf brewer thingy a few hours after I wrote that. Wrist/Hand isn't all the way there yet. And now I am grumpy because no tea and no coffee... new tea kettle (that i can probably also figure out how to make coffee in) is at least on the way though... metal this time, instead of Pyrex... sigh

I tend to take my coffee close to black, but, sometimes, a tiny bit of butter (actual butter) adds a lot of flavor... and i have been known to fix in a bit of milk and hot cocoa mix as well, if i want a 'dessert coffee'.

For tea, I like black, orange, green... chai... but the real treat is a proper dirty chai latte.


Kirby dance is a classic.

Here, allow me to ruin your life:

Kirby with anatomically accurate feet

Kirby is an Eldritch god, it only makes sense that most mortals are driven mad by his true form =P

this post was submitted on 20 May 2026
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me_irl

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